The Police Serached my House last night

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
The Police Serached my House last night
28
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 9:06am

I had taken my girls out to the movies to see Bedtime Stories and I got a call from my lawyer. The Police were in the process of getting a warrant to search my home. I had to drop my girls off at my parents house, return home and wait for my attorney & the police.


The got really pizzed that the bedroom and living room were empty and I told them where the furniture was. At that point my attorney stepped in and handled it. The Police wanted me to come to the "station" to answer some questions but my lawyer again asked if I was under arrest? The answer was no. I will be going to the Police Station at 10am.


My sisters are going to take the girls shopping today while I am answeing their questions.


It seems that the OM was dealing small amounts of Coke out of his office. He is also trying to spin it that my W was areally the dealer. He is doing everything he can to paint my W as the dealer.


After dealing with the Police I need to see my In Laws and let them know what is going on. My W will need to hire her own

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 8:38pm

Planin..She is devastated. They moved to CT from Vegas. This is his 2nd affair (drug related) and his 2nd time being busted with Coke. She is moving her kids back to GA to be with her family. She will not post bond for him and has taken out a restraining order against him. I guess when he is on the straight and narrow he is a good person (yeah right) but she noticed something wrong about two months ago. She will be filing for divorce on Friday.


She has two boys and a gir1. The kids are all under 11 years old. He is most likely going to serve time as this is his 2nd bust.


I suspected something was up about a month ago. I didn't dawn on me that she could be as hurt as I was.


This stinks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 9:22pm

i am so sorry for her as i am for you. it is amazing that after being given a 2nd chance he would turn around and put her thru it yet again. i do not mean to sound sexist here, but the fact that she was probably a stay at home mom will make it that much more difficult. not to make light of you or your dear childrens situation, however, her having to start over and needing to now provide for her children is going to be hard. that along with all of the devastation on a personal level that she, like you is feeling.

this story is sad beyond beiief. i do want to comment on this: you, are showing empathy for her, that defines the man you are. again i say your children are fortunate to have such a loving father.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Tue, 01-20-2009 - 9:32pm
i am sorry for both of you as well. this is crazy! i wish you the very best. you will get through this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 6:37am

To be perfectly honest, I was sooo pissed at the OM and his family I never put a face to his W or their family. After speaking with her and listening to her I felt really bad for her. He was on the staright and narrow for 4 years. Now all hell has broken loose.


She is a stay at home mom, Miss PTA, GirlsScout Leader, etc. Now she is moving back to Atlanta to rebuild her life. She will have help from her parents and her family.


Jack...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 10:28am
as i have read the postings here on the board i am amazed at the number of lives totally destroyed by spouses betrayals. fortunately for many after time they are able to move on - but the scars - they remain. scars of the soul - they are just like scars on our skin after time they are not as pronounced they even tend to fade. but if you bump them just right ouch! there is the pain of that initially wound all over again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 10:36am

Your wisdom comes from your heartache.


There are so many things/items/concerns that I have there are times when I am not sure how to deal with them. I know that my M is over. Could there be a "new" M? I honestly do not know.


I know I can be a happy single D dad but would that be in the best interest of my girls?


What type of example am I setting for them? I worry about this ALOT.


A friend of mine that knows gave me the name of someone to talk to..


Jack...


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 12:47pm

Jack, you've got so much going on right now that I'm sure it's all making you spin. The fact that you are keeping it together, involving her parents and carrying on so responsibly is commendable. I know all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole or run away.


YOU HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER AND ARE DOING THE VERY BEST YOU CAN FOR YOUR CHILDREN GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. No one could do any better!


As for the thinking about the future I really think you need to cut yourself some slack. So much of what will happen is completely beyond your control and dependent on how and if your W recovers from so many different issues.


My X was really not emotionally healthy at the time of the A. There came a point when he simply couldn't remain in the household because it was not healthy for me or our daughter. Truthfully if it was just myself I'm not sure if I would have done anything. However I wasn't the only one there in that mess, our daughter was in it too and that seemed to be extremely motivating for me to take action.

Solazzo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 12:54pm

Solazzo..Thank You...Right now I feel like there is no end in site. I worry so much about my girls. I want to do right by them and me.


I can't believe that I am in this position.


Jack...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 1:39pm

I know I can be a happy single D dad but would that be in the best interest of my girls?


What type of example am I setting for them? I worry about this ALOT.


I don't post here often, my betrayal is 16 + yrs old. I have remarried happily we lived together for 10 yrs, and have been married for an additional 5.

Rachel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 1:40pm

I hear you Jack... I wanted to just wake up from the nightmare. instead I woke up each morning crying.


Jack I saw that you are really having difficulty with your mood swings and just about everything is triggering you. Your anxiety is really high understandably. I don't know how you kept your cool with the Police being such wankers...anyway...


I understand that you don't want to use an anti-depressant at the moment...can I suggest that you have your Dr. comment on giving you an anti-anxiety medication to be used at times of extreme stress and anger. I'll tell you why I'm concerned about this stress. Your kids have you at the moment, but unrelieved stress and tension (and panic or fear) often lead to self medicating. Just one drink, it calms you and leads to a routine. I don't care who you are it happens to the best of us... ;)

Solazzo