Pregnant and hurt, found out so many things. Were to go from here

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2013
Pregnant and hurt, found out so many things. Were to go from here
Mon, 10-28-2013 - 7:48pm

 

 I Met my Husband 11 years ago and we were friends, I wanst interested in anything more at that time. Three years later we reconnected and became a couple. I have never been so much in love as I was with this man, he was the answer to everything I always wanted. We have 3 kids and 1 more on the way (in 3 1/2 months). He was away on Business last week and I found some links in his email which I decided to just check. It turns out he has been searching for and sending himself information from Craigslist on local prostitutes for the last year and a half. I confronted him and he first denied ever doing anything but looking. I kicked him out immediately. He finaly said he had been wanting to come clean for some time and it had been eating at him. Last year a week before my Birthday he went away for a Business trip, on his way home (about 3 hours away) he stopped and was aproached bu a PRO, he gave went to her hotel and she perfomed Oral. After which he left, came home to me, and made love. I have been distrought with greif, crying all the time, angry, depressed, confused, everything all rolled into one huge storm. I have lost 15 lbs in the last week Its hard to keep food down. I have regular appointmebts with my OB to monitor the baby as well as a therapist to try and help me cope. I dont know what to do, I loved this man with all of my heart & thought we would grow old together. Its been 12 days since I found out so its still relatively fresh. He has also lost weight, isnt eating, breaks down at work 24/7 in fact they hae sent him away several times. On the rare occasion we see each other or talk I scream, say hateful things, ask endless questions and he is patient, doesnt resist, takes it all, and apolagizes constantly. He has made many grand gestures, too many to count. I have literally walked on roses since the seperation.

 This is a Place I never thought we would be. He is also seeing a therapist and is going above and beyond to check in so I always know wher ehe is to give me piece of mind and help ease the stress as much as ossible with the pregnancy. I dont know If I will ever be able to trust him again, I dont feel at this time that I would ever forgive him for the afair. My life is in a tailspin and I have three little ones depending on me so I have to greive through it. As of now I can not even begin to think about taking him back. Hoping to find someone to relate.

 

Please ignore any typos I am multi tasking with kids, trying to hold it together, and broken