Pushed to far!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Pushed to far!!!
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 2:25pm

Hi... So over the weekend I debated, thoght about and decided that the only way or thing that might save the marriage is if I threw H out..I know I cant live with him texting his ex and my friend a nywhere from 20 to 80 times a day...He is carrying on two affairs (not physical) but cheating of the heart and at the very least total disloyalty and disrespect to our marriage..

I finally blew a cork...He changed his facebook password and than the sh*t hit the fan....

At one point he said maybe I should go and I than went off the deepend. He was hoping to manipulate me and scare me into being quiet..He thoght I would cry and say please dont go..What I did say shocked the heck out of him..I said good go, get the **** out of my house right now. and I walked away..He followed me.. Threw a stereo (not at me). The look on his face I will never forget...The man does not want to lose me and this family I am sure...

But still he tried to justify, he is only "catching up" yeah right..Everyday sometimes up to 80 texts..That sure is a lot of catching up..Whatever..I feel so much better that I finally exploded and let it out..

He didnt leave..He is trying to make nice with me..And I really dont caare..Once I looked through the phone bill and actually saw he was in touch with them every day unlike the once a week he told me, well I am done..Done..Done...

If he could stop justifying and start apologizing maybe there would be hope..But right now I am in a house and the man has lost me and doesnt even know it..He is to busy lying to both of us to realize that he has lost me....

It may take me a week to get out, or a year but he does not have my heart.. I used to let me convince me of things,, H cant this time..He may lie, i may want to believe him but that computerized bill does not lie..It shows the cold hard truth..

He says nothing sexual is said and no lovey dovey stuff just friends..I dont really care what has or has not been said ... No wife on the plant wou,ld think texting an ex everyday or your "wifes" friend is okay especially up to 80 times in 1 day..Ohhhhh pleasee..How can he even sit there with a straight face and think I buy this garbage...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: nda3
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 8:40pm

Good for you for standing up for yourself.

You go girl!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
In reply to: nda3
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 9:52pm

finding the strength to stand up for ones self is a freeing feeling.


he, for whatever reason, believes he can do whatever he wants and you will just put up with it. time for a wake up call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: nda3
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 8:47am
Until he accepts that what he is doing is wrong and takes full responsibility for his actions, until he is truly sorry, not just sorry he got caught and as long as he continues to try to justify his actions, you are right - he is continuing the EA's and continuing to betray you.
Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: nda3
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 1:17am


Two weeks before my spouse confessed her affairs, she asked me to leave. I told her that if there were problems, she should get an apartment and she would be welcome to visit me and the kids anytime she wanted, but once she began dating or sleeping with another man. She was out for good.

What I didn't know then was that this was her first wake-up call. After D Day, I told her that if I caught her making any contact with any of the men, she wold find her stuff in garbage bags in the front yard and I would tell the kids what she did so they would understand why dad was being a sociopath.

Not all good advice, but I didn't have a plan yet. Work your 180 list ok!


I have 5 kids ages 16-10. Our D Day was August, 2008

What I'm doing to rebuild: Therapy, Books, Exercise, Forgiveness and Listening.


We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.