Raining Anvils???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Raining Anvils???
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 1:00pm

I just picked up my litttlest princess (Sarah, 8 years old) from school because she is sick. I think the Flu bug my be visiting my home. She was in the backseat and something about "this what Mommy would do". Its an innocent enough comment. To say that I was overcome with raging anger is an understatement. I got her tucked in on the couch and then had to go outside to have a yelling fit.

These emotions are coming out the blue. I am trying to figure out what happened.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 2:10pm
It is a trigger----You are fresh at this and many things will set you off before you know it--it is part of it--it is normal.......just feel it and move on the best you can. Your DD is sweet and did not mean anything by it--I am sure she just misses her mom. No matter what your W is her Mother--and an important part of her life---even if she really does not in your mind or in reality deserve the praise. You are doing a good job and this had NOTHING to do with YOU. You just need to focus on your children and yourself. Find ONE thing every day to be happy about..even if it is the fact you have hot water for your shower... it gets better----you are just in the thick of it now. I will keep you in my thought and prayers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 2:23pm

Tryintoheal said it all Jack.

Your little girl is sick and likely assuring herself that Dad knows just what to do, just like Mommy does. In her mind it's more like...huh, look at that, I've never had Daddy come and get me from school when I'm sick.

Of course it's a trigger because at the moment you can't see anything good about your W because you're upset, confused and angry...which is exactly the way most of us feel at first. Unfortunately you can't always predict what your kids will say or how it will impact on you. So here;s the thing...I really had a hard time separating X's role as a parent and as a husband. It was all the same to me, but I realized that it was in DD's best interests to have a healthy relationship with her father. I had to really reach deep down into my soul to tell her that her Dad wasn't all bad and that what was happening wasn't about her at all. I told her it was


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 3:44pm

Jack, it's like hanging on to life and sanity with bloody fingernails at times, isn't it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 8:00pm

Hi -

I've been lurking and reading all your posts and it breaks my heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 9:58pm

what happened?

do you think it might have something to do with:

you find out your wife is having an affair
an affair with her boss
the boss who was giving her drugs
she ends up in drug rehab
he ends up in the pokee
you have to tell all of the adults in the family
you have to take on the added responsiblity of mommy along with daddy and bread winner
the police search your house
you are questioned by the police


jack, give yourself a break. i am sure a small teeney weeney bit of you is thinking 'can't they see i am trying to do it all?' you are human.

IN YOUR FAVOR YOU WENT OUTSIDE AND LET GO< you did not go off on her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 10:07pm

Jayeml, I don't agree with you that Jack's "yelling fit" equals anger management issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Wed, 01-21-2009 - 11:05pm

I tend to lurk a lot on these boards and not post a lot, but your story moved me. I am almost 6 months since D Day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 7:31am

"Had to go outside to have a yelling fit? Somehow, I think if we had the whole story, we'd find that you have anger management problems. "

You have got to be kidding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 8:05am

Are you serious? Have you read all that this man has had to deal with in a short period? I think leaving the child safely on a sofa and taking himself outside... away from his innocent daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Thu, 01-22-2009 - 9:06am

I have a friend who taught me one very good way to vent.