REVENGE AND ANGER

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2008
REVENGE AND ANGER
57
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 4:57pm

Wow, there's been a lot of anger and talk of revenge on this board recently.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2008
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 8:09am

I never meant to stir

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 2:11pm

my husbands dad also a serial cheater. his father got his mom pregnant while married to another woman, then went of to father others b women outside the marriage.

yes, we should have attended that class, then perhaps we would have made healthier choices; and would find ourselves much more 'whole' right now at this point in our lifes journey.

to quote the words of a song 'if i could turn, turn back the hands of time'. unfortunately, that is not possible. now, there is a belief that we in each struggle we face there is a lesson to be learned. i must be in the special ed class; since i put up with same crap my entire marriage. interesting though, it is only this course 'men' that i have failed at. maybe next time around i will come back having learned the lesson so well that i will find mr. right - you know the guy, the guy we dream of: the man with integrity, the man who cares, the man who loves, the man who is just who he is and is comfortable with that, the man who looks at us and makes us feel like a million bucks, the man who makes us laugh, the man who in our darkest hour is there for me - and me alone, the man who i can give my body to and have it treasured, the man who i can ask to put his arms around me and i know that i am the only one he holds like this.

what a wonderful thing it is to dream, to reflect.

peace, there are days, like today, when i do not want to be here. i do not want to have to take care of any one ever again. i am tired and i want to feel important and loved. i want to feel special i want to feel cared for. but most of all peace -------------PEACE IS WHAT I WANT.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 2:25pm

PEACE:

i reread my message and wanted to clairfy - when i said i don't want to be here, i meant, here in this marriage, i just feel like such a fool. i did not want you to worry about me doing anything to harm myself.. i have been there and done that, and will never go down that road again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 9:52pm

Hi,


I'm a BS whose SO was involved in a LDA for several years. We are rebuilding.


This is my first post on ivillage though I have been

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 10:54am

>>Albert Einstein once stated that

Solazzo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:20pm
Hi Planin
Well I'm glad you clarified that for me. I too feel the daily struggle between the life I've had and the life I'd should have had. I guess just because YOU are a good, honest and sincere person doesn't mean you will get the same as you give. Hell it's not fair...... not fair at all, but I guess as they say "it is what it is" and we have to accept it for what it is. But the inner struggle does indeed get awful tiring sometime doesn't it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 5:33pm

the inner struggle - oh yes. that is the hardest part.

you know as i read the posts here of other women, the major majority of them younger than me and as i read the words they have so painfully typed I SEE ME YEARS AGO. i did not have women like you, gwtwfan, val or solazzo. no all I had was me, and obviously 'me' did not do a very good job taking care of kathleen. me took care of everyone else, but kathleen she was in the background, she was in the kitchen,she was at work, she was in the garage doing laundry, she was behind the wheel driving the team to the their games. she was alone, wishing her h would love her, my God, i must have been out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!

peace, i am mad as hell that here i sit at 59 feeling washed up with my best years behind me. i know in my mind that i have alot of life to live, but in my heart and spirit i feel alone. i am so afraid that when he passes i will be left sitting here thinking WELL YOU DO THE RIGHT THING now what???????

much of my reading tells me that i am learning something from this, that when i have learned what i need to learn that i will be free. well, i must be the stupidest person on this earth, because i have been learning this lesson for a mighty long time.

freedom and peace, at my age that is what i need.

for some reason i have been a little down in the dumps recently, maybe it is the birthday thing.

thanks for listening, you all are my friends, my confidants, my pillars of strength. God bless you all!!!!!!!!!!

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