In the right place?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2013
In the right place?
3
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 11:48am

I belonged to this group years ago when I found out about my now ex husbands affair. I found out two days ago I have genital herpes, am still in shock.

I don't know where to go for support. I woul appreciate any help or guidance you have!

thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 03-29-2013 - 11:35pm

I've read herpes can be in the system for a long time before it really "shows up".  To me this is one of the very worst results of cheating - your partner callously forgets you exist and fools around with someone else and then infects you with some lovely health problem.  I will ask how long were you two a couple?  I know very little about herpes except I think I've read it really can remain in a person's body for years without showing symptoms, so he COULD have picked it up many years ago - maybe before he even knew you?  Is that a possibility?  I don't know where to direct you for help, there are so many self-help groups that meet these days - if you googled something like support group for herpes I wouldn't be at all surprised to find some sources.  So sorry you have this problem - I would be livid in your shoes. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2013
Sat, 03-30-2013 - 4:06pm

Thank you for your responce. We were married for 21 years, he had many affairs. When asked if he used protection he said no, he'd had a vascatomy so he was safe. Yeah I know, he's a real dumbass. I divorced him in 2010 and have since remarried. Since I didnt know I had this gift from my ex (that just keeps on giving) I have probably infect my husband which kills me. Of course he's so supportive and wonderful about it but it's still horrible. I can't help but think how many others he has now infected. I was tested for all the STD when I found out about one of his affairs but in my naitivity I only had it done once. I need to do some more research and find out more about it. I really appreciate your support, it's always comforting to be around people who have "been there done that". 

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 04-02-2013 - 5:21pm

 Did they tell you which virus it is?  There are two types and it is quite possible that your ex was not the carrier.  many people show no symptoms.  Some have had it since childhood. 

chaika