Saw OW again today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Saw OW again today!
12
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 4:31pm

I stopped by my H's work for lunch today and got another look at the OW. She saw me and couldn't even look me in the eyes. I gave her an "all knowing/cocky" smile and she turned around and walked the other direction while looking at the ground.


Here's the thing that shocked me: She's not pretty.


When I caught them on their date a few weeks ago I wasn't really paying much attention to her. I was watching his face for any emotion and watching his every move. So I didn't really look at her much.


But she's not attractive at all! I don't want to be selfish or egotistical. But I work out several times a week and I've got a good figure. I take care of myself and it shows. (Enough with the talking me up, huh?)


She is just not pretty. She's short and overweight. She looks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 4:44pm

You and I seem to be living the same lives right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 7:00pm

From all the posts I've read here I think that's the NORM!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 7:44pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 9:12pm

You wouldn't believe my DH XOW. She is a real dog. She has really bad adult acne, she is really over-weight and she doesn't look clean at all. I was dumb-founded. But my sister told me that I should consider it a blessing that she was a dog because if I am wondering what the heck he saw in her that is better than her being some bomb shell which would have rocked my self esteem. When my DH told me who she was I looked at him and told him that I couldn't believe he would risk our M and his career for some trash like her. He said that it was never about her, it was about his inadequencies. He told me that she was just the vehicle he used to try to pull himself out of the gutter he felt he was in.


Also, any beautiful woman doesn't usually have to settle for being the OW and hiding and sneaking with a MM. Beautiful women usually demand more respect than settling for being a MM dirty little secret. A beautiful woman wants to be seen in public, so it kind of make sense that most OW will be unattractive women who don't know their worth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 9:34pm

I have no idea what your story is but

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Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 9:51pm

Yeah, My wife said she was attracted to the fact that they were attracted to her. I think it's a self esteem issue, or in our case a depression issue. The attention from the other men made her depression slip away for a short while and she became addicted to that rush. Now that she's on the anti-D Meds and the fog is lifting, (and my own behavior is improving) she can finally see just how messed up it all was and what an embarrassment the men were. She brought one of her female classmates up to speed at my request so she could sit by her during class. This class mate who had been to our home several times over the years was sort of repulsed when DW told her who the problem was with. He's sort of a handsie sleaze.

One of DW's coworkers whom DW used to giggle with at work about their affairs was with this guy about a year earlier. DW found out because a bunch of the nurses were trashing this dude about how this married guy was getting around. To My wife's shock it was this very guy. They then said not to talk bad about the dude to my wife's work friend because she liked him. DW put 2 and 2 together and sorted out they had been with the same dude. After DW told her this girl that they had been with the same dude, the woman was all giddy. But when I finally saw the dude combined with DW story about the other nurses. Both women began to have their eyes open to what a sleaze this guy is. Now both of them bad mouth the guy.

As a side note, DW sort of was able to help this woman understand how messed her affairs were and her and the husband are now sorting out their stuff. DW is being a positive influence in a few other marriages. I'm sort of proud of her for turning all this crap into something positive for these people.

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Status: Rebuilding

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 9:51pm

never,


i posted this before your time here and i had same experience as you and many others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 12:45am
Just like everyone else, the OW in my case
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 1:04am

Oh, you're not being high and mighty or anything else.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 1:20am

Hi Myra, Just like you my ego took a hard hit too knowing that she was the one on his mind for so long. But, I know for him it was all about the ego boost and the fantasy.

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