says it was just emotional

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
says it was just emotional
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 11:02pm

just found out. He bought her flowers and I got it on the credit card transactions. Called the company and got hte recipient. Just as suspected. He has been lying. It took forever to get the info I got from him. He bought her a flight to come stay with him on a work trip in September. She refused apparently. He said they never texted and now he admits that they did but he deleted them. He wants to stay with me. He wants us to work. How the HELL do I make that work. We have one child together (2), I want another, he doesnt'. How do we get through that?!!

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 12:37pm

I just wanted to send you some big ((HUGS)) and support!


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 1:28pm
So sorry you have to be "here". Has he always said he only wants one child? I am wondering if he doesn't want a second child because then he would feel too guilty continuing the affair when you are pregnant?

His excuse about the affair is BS, these cheaters come up with the most idiotic reasons!!

I have been on this board for a long time and have seen so much here. I want you to know that many of us have been through mote than one dday because many affairs once discovered just go more underground. Be sure to make it clear to your H that you will not tolerate another dday. Make an exit plan and seek legal advise just in case.

Sorry to be a downer but your H is in the fog of a new affair and can't be trusted right now.

Take care of yourself and you make want to get some IC too as this is a trauma not easily overcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 1:39pm
The way this looks (and the way I saw it with my H) was that the INTENTION to sleep with her was there, but because SHE (my H EA woman) didn't want it to turn physical (she's married too) it didn't. In my opinion if he bought her a plane ticket to come stay with him alone on a work trip, he had every intention of sleeping with her, even if she didn't show up over there (and really how can you be so sure she didn't) Men LIE and DENY like crazy when they are in an affair. If you are positive you want another child ( and this is a BIG thing) and he doesn't, then you will need to decide whether to stay with him or find someone that DOES want to have a child with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 8:47am
I have to agree with bjean. He's in the affair fog and will lie like a dog to cover his tracks, to throw you off so he can continue with his affair. Read the 180 list and contact an attorney to protect your interests at the very least.