She never stopped

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
She never stopped
16
Sat, 04-04-2009 - 10:22pm
W never even paused her OA.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2007
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 4:15am
I never realized till I found this board after Dday #2 with same OW, fours years apart,
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 12:18pm

So sorry for your continued pain


I hope tomorrow's meeting with your minister gives you some insight and comfort.


your words written here have been strengthening and comforting for me.


Keep us posted


again so sorry to hear she couldn't give up the OA


Midge

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 4:20pm

Sending you hugs of support, Thinkingman.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 5:57pm
why do people do this crap? life is hard enough without added drama! it should be more than enough to have someone you can trust to hold on to and have each others back! i wish you well:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 5:58pm
Thanks all for your support.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

Avatar for cirrus1993
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 10:34pm

I am so sorry to hear that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Sun, 04-05-2009 - 11:41pm
I missed your post yesterday but hope today you got some helpful feedback.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 9:23am

I am sorry. Yes, it probably will get ugly so get your ducks in a row.

It continues to amaze me that normally sane, caring, moral individuals willingly do such things and cause so much damage.

Good luck. You will get through. In a year, you will look back and shake your head at the whole thing and thank your lucky stars that you are through it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 10:46am

Thinkingman,


i am sorry to hear that. mine did the same to me, the only difference is that we were separated & i would not accept him back in our home until i knew for certain that the A was over. But he still tried to lie & to be with me & the OW.


I can imagine how heartbreaking it is, its almost more painful than the initial discovery. Because this time they are feeding you lies, leading you on, when all along they are still in contact with the OM/OW. Its also confusing! you think, why are you leading my on? why do you lie? why do you say you want to work things out? when you are STILL having the A!


I think that some very selfish people (as the majority of WS are extremely selfish, impulsive, & lack empathy) dont know what they have until they loose it. They dont have the insight that, yes, your A might seem better than your marriage, your OW/OM might seem better than your spouse, but that is just temporary. What they experience in their A does not last. They compare their A with their marriage, when in reality there is no comparison! The A is "romantic love", the beginning phase where everything seems perfect & they see their partner as ideal, while a marriage is "mature love", where you've paseed "romantic love" and know the good, bad & ugly of your spouse.


Some people learn the hard way. If worse comes to worse & your wife ends up with the OM, give it some time & you will see that "romantic Love" turn ugly. that fantasy does not last. And a relationship built on deception will not survive.


I hope your minister guides you in the right direction. I went to church this Sunday myself because i feel like only God can give me the strenght & courage to make it through this crisis. Although his A is over, the consequences & the OW are sitll haunting us.


Stay strong thinkingman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Mon, 04-06-2009 - 12:34pm

I was also a BS who discovered that the A never ended feeling like the complete fool and the pain so deep it sucked the life out of me. But somehow we find that inner strength to find our way out of the darkness.


Because of suffering through two ddays I have paid extra attention to the posts of those in our shoes. Your minister is right in that these addicted to the affair spouses really need the wake up or walk away call from us. The only way they get it the second time around to

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