She's a predator!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
She's a predator!
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 3:58pm


As some of you may know (from my previous posts) I've had some suspicions about my H. I checked his phone for text messages and found out he's been texting with this girl at work. (Some just saying "Good morning" and some were flirty.)

I tried to do the "180 List" and it seems to be working. He's focusing almost all of his attention on me and our marriage. We didn't really have any problems before. We were attentive and intimate with each other. But he's taken it up a notch since the 180.

Anyway, I continued to check his phone. On Friday I found MANY messages from her that went unanswered.

She started early in the workday asking if he wanted to go out that night or next weekend.

No response from him.

Another message from her- "Hey, did you get my message earlier? Want to go out later?"

No response.

Yet ANOTHER message from her. She really wants him to come along with "them" tonight. (I guess they're going out as a group.)

No response.

Now... the thought crossed my mind that he could have gone to her and answered in person (She works in a different department on another floor.) But the continued questions from her make it seem as if she didn't get a response (Nor did I see any in his "Sent" folder.)

I would prefer that he say, "NO! I'm married." But at least he didn't say yes or even acknowledge her advances.

This woman is a predator- he's clearly not interested when he doesn't answer 3 of your texts. At least he's not interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 4:41pm
Maybe she thinks he's somehow not getting the messages so she keeps calling. He should just text her
that "he's married and not interested." That should stop the texts from her if she's persistent. Sometimes not saying nothing is like saying I'm not sure, give me some time to think about it."
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 03-31-2009 - 11:32pm

Did you insist on zero contact?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 04-01-2009 - 3:58pm

If you have asked your husband to go no contact then he is following your instructions beautifully. Be proud of him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Wed, 04-01-2009 - 7:09pm

I wouldn't exactly call her a predator.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2009
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 3:48am

Hi I am going though the same thing I just posted a msg "To divorce or not to divorce" But what I didnt put on there was that SHE started calling HIM everyday too. But he in the past 2 wks has been calling her back that is what I meant (in my post) he could only resist for so long....


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 9:11am

Hi neverguessed,

Obviously this woman wants more, hence the nonstop calling, texting.