In Shock!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In Shock!
19
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 2:02pm

I have been with my husband for 20 years and found out 4 days ago that he has been having an affair with a co-worker.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: kaymaxx
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 8:41pm

Hi, I am soooo sorry you have to be here but please keep posting, we can all understand what you are feeling at this first stage of what is going to be the hardest thing you

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: kaymaxx
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 9:05pm

You are a gem for responding to my post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: kaymaxx
Sun, 08-09-2009 - 2:59am

Hi, just reaching out again to see how you are doing. The weekends around this board are a little slow but you will see more support coming in over the week.


Try to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: kaymaxx
Sun, 08-09-2009 - 1:33pm

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: kaymaxx
Sun, 08-09-2009 - 9:46pm

Hi Kay,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: kaymaxx
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 1:01pm

I thank you for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: kaymaxx
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 2:43pm

HI Kay, me again. You are so smart to not ask for any more details. I asked for way too many and now have more mind "movies" than I can handle.


I was also not ready for MC the first few months after dday#1. When I realized we needed help, he seemed reluctant but did go with me. We went to 2 or 3 appts but I now realize that the counselor really did not help AND I find out two years later that he lied during the sessions. He said to the therapist and myself that he would never have another affair. In a way he was right, he did not have ANOTHER affair, he had already resumed the current one!!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: kaymaxx
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 3:29pm

You are a blessing and your feedback has been so enlightening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: kaymaxx
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 3:43pm

I can't thank you enough for sharing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: kaymaxx
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 5:10pm

Yes, it must be a very hard day knowing he went back to work and will see xow.


I want you to know that YOUR self-respect and dignity are still very much intact. If you look at it, its the XOW and your H that have thrown theirs out the window.


You are right, the last four years of my life could be made into one of those heartbreaking lifetime movies. But, yes I am now grounded and know that I am now strong enough and secure with the knowledge that I will be ok no matter what my future may hold.


How is your daughter doing?


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