Should I get a divorce at this point in my life?
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|Wed, 01-29-2014 - 9:29am|
I am nearing retirement age and the delema I am facing is whether or not to file for divorce at my age of 62. My husband left about 15 years ago and took up with another woman. My children are now grown and married. I stayed in our house all these years and he continued to pay the mortgage and some of the bills. It took me a very long time to get over the fact that my marriage ended, but as the years went on, I was ok as long as I still had a roof over my head. I got a job and was getting by and even taking a vacation every now and then, but now I am at the point where I realize I am getting older and will be retiring soon. My husband wants to retire in a few months and I resent the fact that I have to keep working for lack of money. He has control of our savings, but I didn't want to upset the apple cart as long as I was getting by financially with his help. I recently saw pictures of him and his girlfriend online enjoying a wonderful european vacation, complete with dinners and champagne, while I have to worry everyday about what my future holds for me and how I am going to survive if I ever lost his financial support. About a month ago, I emailed him and told him that I heard he wants to retire in a few months. He emailed me back and said he does want to retire, but he has make sure he can still make the mortgage payments on the house otherwise he will not retire.
I emailed him back and told him that I had a solution - I told him we should sell the house and then he could retire because he wouldn't have to worry about making mortgage payments anymore. I told him that instead of him making mortgage payments, he could give me x amount of dollars each month so that I could retire also. Then he wanted to know where I would live. I told him I would move out of state near my daughter for half the year, and move back here near my son for the other half of the year. I thought he would welcome the thought of selling this house and going along with my plan since that would be much less money he would have to pay and he would be able to retire. In fact, he told me that he won't be retiring unless he can still pay the mortgage on the house. I don't get it and I don't know what to do anymore. I have thought about filing for divorce, but my fear is that I would be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. And the thought of going through a divorce at my age is not something I want to face. I just want peace in my life. As long as I stay in this house and keep my job, I can get by. If I divorced him and sold the house, I doubt I'd be able to suvive financially after that. Seeing those pictures of him and his girlfriend turns my stomach, when I am here barely getting by. I guess I need some opinions and ideas. Do I leave well enough alone, or should I slap him with divorce papers, or do you have any other advice for me? Please, I need help.