This shouldn't be so hard :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2005
This shouldn't be so hard :(
21
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 8:46am

I'm so so so so sad today, after being motivated by so much anger yesterday :(

Just so sad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 11:27pm
It is sad. Very sad, trying to not let it rob me of little happinesses now... it's hard though... and sometimes I am just so sad.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2010
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 1:06am

Ladies,

It's just so very sad. I wonder sometimes if it just isn'y worth the trying. If I were to separate in a couple of years I'd be free of this sadness and maybe on to better things. I could be settled somewhere use to being alone and maybe in a better place. The OW wouldn't matter so much. I'd still see him because of the kids and all but it wouldn't be my place to monitor his life. It's such a gamble, both ways. My question is If staying with the devil you know is better than meeting a new one. There are so many damaged men out there I'd probably end up with another cheater knowing my luck!! Sh*t it is just too hard this life we have chosen to live. I guess it's good to know we are not alone! I wish we all lived closer so we could have meetings face 2 face. If ever anyone wants to have a BS retreat I have a place in the mountains of Western NC. Lodging would be minimum $10 a day. That would be so cool to have a bunch of us together just to share stories and have all day contact with some fun thrown in for good measure!! My cabin sleeps 10 comfortably. Just a thought anyway.

CrazyHeart422

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving
Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 8:39pm
I sure do agree with you that it is a gamble. We could leave our spouses (and break up our families in the process) in hopes that the next guy will be a faithful one. But in the end he could turn out to be a worse cheater than our H's were, so then we of course would regret splitting up the family for a real dog. Maybe it's better to hope that our H's have learned a lesson by seeing the hurt they've caused us, then to take a chance on going thru this all over again. To tell you the truth if this EVER happens again, I think I would rather be alone for a LONG time than to fall in love with another guy who could end up doing the same cwap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 8:56pm
...I don't think the decision to leave someone who has cheated on us should be based in any way on what the next guy will be like...life shouldn't be about "well, he didn't cheat on me that bad"...I think for some people, it's better to leave...especially if the sadness/anger is a hurdle to being a happy parent...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 12:05am
I agree. I think you should leave when your misery outweighs your joy.
And that you should leave with the idea of being alone for a while with no thought of what the next guy you will be with will do or not do. I was just responding to the point that it is a gamble once you do leave, on if a new relationship will end up being any better than what you have now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2010
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 12:22am
I really don't think about other men really don't know why I wrote it. I guess sadness makes me think stupid things sometimes and it is better to let it out of my head than let it sit there and grow. Nothing worth having is simple in my life so I just better get strong and deal with it. I've chosen to stay because I love him and know with some effort on both our parts we can grow to a better place. Good Night Ladies and Gentlemen,

CrazyHeart422

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving
Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 12:28am
I completely agree with u. this had happened to me twice and i have decided that i am better off alone. i don't need a man if this is what all end up doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 5:08am
So you are saying you left a cheater and ended up with another cheater? If so I feel bad for you. I think if my H EVER cheats again, I will chose to live happily ever after with my 3 year old very intelligent and extremely LOYAL male border collie, who already sleeps with momma all the time when H is off on his frequent business trips. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2005
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 5:36pm

yah, I've made the decision to leave...that's the saddest part :( if I didn't love the bonehead, it would be a piece of cake. but. there are parts of him i still love. dammit.

so...i found an apartment this week, i'll do the rental stuff tomorrow....all the technical stuff...the heart stuff has been decided.

he's been mean as captured ape all week, i don't know what to do with that. it's like "I'VE" done something to "HIM"...wth? **shaking.head** whatever.

and, I can't even THINK of another man or future relationships at this point. well, yah...a bulldog male persuasion LAWYER maybe lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2010
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 7:00pm

sinfiniti,


I can imagine what you are doing is extremely painful!!

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.

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