Simply Angry and disgusted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2010
Simply Angry and disgusted!
17
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 2:50pm
OK....Jeez. I'm in a tail spin today! Yesterday my H was complaining about sitting in traffic and all the driving he does back and forth to work, how long it takes blah, blah, blah. I had just come from a Dr. appt with my daughter who is 6 and had to have warts frozen off her finger. It was very traumatic and painful for her. As I was listening to him complain I thought you drove more than half way across the city for two months in traffic to get "some" from your OW but somehow that was worth sitting in traffic? That was worth the drive and aggravation and now here I am sitting listening to how you have to endure traffic day in and day out to get to and from work??? This from a man who will drive an extra few miles to save a few cents on gas? REALLY!!! Some days I just can't take it. It's been 4 months since I discovered his A and I'm doing the best I can to deal with the daily horror and he's upset about traffic??? I exploded on him this morning over it, told him how I felt and instead of just supporting me and understanding the outburst he got angry and said how can you associate that with the A? Doesn't he get that everything seems to be associated with the A. Damn him and damn all of those spouses who cheat!!! Need a some words of wisdom to calm me down. Today I want to run as far away from this horrid mess as I can. Then I think about my little girl, 14 years of marriage, over 20 years together, what divorce would be like, having to "share" my little girl etc. What to do????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 11:19am

Thanks Crossroads....

You hanging in gives me hope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 6:51am

trust takes a moment to be lost and a lifetime to rebuild

Boy is that the truth.... I have been waiting for the trust to magically come back, but it won't ..it will take time...meanwhile, I will just work on getting stronger and getting my sense of self back and work with him to make our marriage stronger.

I don't think my H really thinks of himself as a betrayer either. We were discussing a couple's relationship where one cheated on the other a while back and he talked of that person with such disgust ...I think they have to block it out and take themself out of the role to be able to deal with it...I guess we should just take it as sort of a sign of remorse...at least he is not making excuses. I recently found and read a letter on his computer that he wrote to me but never sent. I was written 1 week after dday last year...I accidently found it...wasn't even looking, but in it he talked about how he had betrayed his best friend and that his love for me was second to nothing else and how he couldn't undo what he had done .... he did not deny his feelings for her at hat point...but as I read it, I felt his sense of remorse and that he know he had lost something irreplacable. It is so odd that I found it almost 1 year to the day...it has been such a long year...things are not perfect, but so much better than last year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2010
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 9:05am

Thanks All!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2006
Thu, 10-21-2010 - 7:55am

You are in the very early stages of grief, denial, and pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 10:44am

Strong? I guess I did find out that I was a lot stronger than I thought after Dday.I guess what doesn't kill

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 8:07am
OOps, meant to write I have NO intention of ruining him. I'm a good person, not ruthless or vindictive at all. Would never hurt him like that, despite all this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 8:05am

He did say he was sorry, I have access to phone, email etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 12:10pm

kapyp

I'm so sorry you feel your

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 8:57am

imafoolinlove

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 11:59am

Hi. I don't post very often, but I have been around for a while. I am 16months since Dday. I've been married for almost 23 yrs.

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