So Disgusted :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
So Disgusted :(
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 10:49am

As you all know I left XBF of 4 years two months ago because he was on dating websites and lying about it (This month would have been our 4 years together)

I just realized that he friend requested many of my Facebook friends; a lot who really do not know the situation.  He went from 10 Facebook friends to 151 in the two months we have been apart; now friends with my friends. 

He posted that he is “content” and back with his XGF, the one who cheated on him incessantly and drank heavily. (Really???? They broke up in 2007!!!!!!!!!!!) I posted several posts about her on the rebuilding board (Now gone? Or is it just my computer is screwed up?)  I always had a weird feeling that he always had feelings for her.

I feel like I dumped a tub of lard into the pit of my stomach.  I am so disgusted.  I feel like our relationship was nothing but a lie…The whole four years was he pining for some drunken wh**e????

Anyhow, if you remember in a previous post I stated that his brother broke off the engagement with his fiancé of six years on new year’s eve…He just posted on Jan 22 that he is engaged to someone else…GWT was right, about how cheating runs in families…As you know their sister cheated on her husband with her new (Now separated) hubby and she helped XBF set up his dating website account. 

Speaking of his sister, he posted some stupid post about her on my friends' timeline? (not familiar with the wording) which showed up on my page, stating (and I quote) “Stephanie is a beautiful human being.  She is my sister and I love her.”  Everyone than “liked” the post and some even commented on how much of a wonderful loving man he is... GAG!!!!!

Since I found this out I have set my account to private but I am not really familiar with Facebook and do not know if I did all I can to be super private.  I am almost at the point of deleting my profile but love the fact that I am in contact with my long lost relatives and friends. 

I tried to block him last night…His profile is, let’s say: “Jim Christian Smith” and when I tried to block him it came up “Jim Christian” so I could not figure out why and did not go thru with it…If anyone can help me with this Facebook thing I would really appreciate it…If I am able to block him would he get a message saying I blocked him? I just want to be left alone and do not want to see him or hear from him…

On another note, I went to the bank last week to close our joint account.  What used to be $1800 was now a balance of $200 thanks to him and his f’ing atm card.  They would not let me take my name off, so I had to close the account.  I wanted nothing to do with him and no drama so I told them to send the remaining balance to one of his checking accounts (We had the joint account at his bank)..

Well, my rant is over.  I am kind of moody today so bear with me…

God bless, Christy


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 1:58pm

You might want to just totally Unfriend him.   I don't think it is possible to be 100% private on FB.  You can get pretty close though if you check all of the right boxes.  

You can also set up groups of friends/family, etc.   

Occasionally, I like to go the part where you can "see what others are seeing"  and can see what is still public, even with all of the privacy settings.  

Lastly, iVillage is combing a lot of boards right now.  If it was a board without a CL and/or very slow, it may have done without any notification.  

Serenity CL Making a Marriage Work

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Sat, 03-08-2014 - 3:03pm


           I know its so frustrating when we know exactly the kind of person the EX really is and everything they did to hurt us and so many others and then ppl make them out to be a saint. You wanna just shout "No, he is NOT a good , loving person! He's a lying, cheating POS along with being a drunk and a whoremonger!" What you have to remember is that FB, like 3/4 of the internet and the world for that matter, is full of ppl who lie and post junk to make themselves look like the are something the aren't. I see posts from ppl I went to high school with who constantly brag about trips they've taken, the wonderful person in their life, expensive stuff they've bought, etc and then other ppl 'like' their posts. The thing is I know these are the same ppl who were jerks in high school and alot of times, as this is a small town, I also know they are lying through their teeth~they are so far in debt its ridiculous, that wonderful kid who they brag about was arrested for drugs and shoplifting, that wonderful person in their life has hit on me and who knows who else 50 times, they got pregnant by the guy they were having an affair with and left their husband, etc, etc etc. Yet, other ppl 'like' their posts. LOL I just block them or unfriend them. Anyone who is pathetic enough to try to make themselves appear as something they aren't has very low self esteem.

You know he only 'friended' your friends to be a jerk and to tick you off and kudos to him, he succeeded~he is definitely a jerk! You shouldn't have to delete your FB account because of him. A lot of ppl probably don't even know who he is or that you and he aren't together anymore. If you block him,  FB won't notify him but if they did, so what? He's a whoremongering jerk and I know you don't have a category under "whoremongering jerk friends"  so block him! lol

So...he's content with a cheating, alcoholic exGF...that says a lot about him. He really sets his standards high, doesn't he? He's settled for what he thinks he deserves and I couldn't agree with him more!

I'm going to scold you now....WTH didn't you close out that joint account and take the money a long time ago? Has all my wonderful advice all these years fallen on deaf ears?!?!? LOL Christy, Christy, Christy! Its water under the bridge now but you should have taken it, and you could have legally. He owed you much more than that for all the work you did for him being his accountant and property manager! Seriously, I understand your reasons~the less drama from Liverspot, the better!

Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. Be glad you've rid your life of someone with such low standards and thank God you found out the kind of person he really is before you wound up married to him. Imagine having to be a part of his dysfunctional family and dealing with Sister Bangsalot and Brother Cheatercheaterpumpkineater for years to come at holidays! Ppl will find out the truth because the truth always, always, ALWAYS comes out sooner or later.