So sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2010
So sad
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 2:55pm
I found out last night (or finally had confirmed) that my husband of 23 years had a seven month affair 14 years ago. I found emails between them six year ago and confronted my husband, but I guess I wanted to believe him when he told me it was not an affair. Then yesterday I found the emails again (I had kept a copy) and when I reread them I could not believe how stupid I had been. Of course there had been an affair. I asked again last night and at first he denied it again. I said based on the email I knew there had been an affair and he confirmed it. It hurts so much. The initial affair, the lying, the lying again when confronted with the email, the fact that he told me today that when I found the email he called her to warn her and told her he had denied it to me (betrayal again by protecting her - warning her I might call her or her husband). The list goes on - I suppose nothing new. He says it was sex only and that she wanted him to leave me and that is when he ended it. I'm so lost.
We have a 20 year-old and an 18 year-old. The 18 year-old is graduating this year - a big year for him. We both want to protect the kids right now from hurt, but how do I live like this for the next few months?
Any words of encouragement are so appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: shireliving
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 7:15am
You have to think of the man your H is now, not who he was in the past.