Still cheating....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Still cheating....
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 11:12am

well after spending the weekend playing happy families where the H actually came home i finally got a hold of his phone despite his efforts to keep me from it. He had been texting the OW even though he told me that he ended it. He texted her he misses her and loves her... i don't know what to do. he has spent the weekend with me telling me he loves me.. we had a fun weekend and while i knew our issues weren't gone i thought maybe there is hope.

but now with his first IC just hrs away I'm left trying to hold myself together. haven't said anything to him yet - I'm so afraid that this is the end but then who am i kidding. he hasn't done anything to try and save our marriage he's just made it worse with the continued A and lies.

I'm falling apart and have no one to catch and put the pieces back together. i don't know how I'm going to tell the kids that their parents aren't going to be together any more - they are going to be so confused especially after this weekend but i just can't see any other ending if he's not willing to end the A and concentrate on us.

Falling apart - praying for a Miracle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 11:51am

So sorry you are dealing with this intelirish, but you do have someone to catch the pieces--YOU! As difficult as this is it is possible. Many have done it before you, including myself. You will see how strong you really are as you make your way through this. If is means anything, I know you are strong and will survive. You have to take care of you and your children. Have you spoken with an attorney? Even if you do not D it will give you an idea where you stand financially and empower you. Get your ducks in a row.

I suggest you put every ounce of your energy into rebuilding yourself and taking care of your children and just let your H do what he does. We can not make our WS's do the work or even understand the pain they have caused. They have to do that themselves. Do the 180-- I will find the last 180 post and repost it below. As far as telling your children, take one step at a time and you will know when the time is right.

I hope you have told your H the consequences of his continued A? Do you have some sort of record of the text's he sent to this OW? What he tells you is not to be believed. You can only look at his actions and if they don't match up to his words, well you have your answer.

The miracle lies within you, many hugs,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 11:52am


I am sorry to hear all of this...I know it hurts to the core...Perhaps if you do seperate and kick him to the curb that might be the wake up call he needs to end his bad behavior? Perhaps some time apart will help him see what he is losing?

If my h had continued the texting with the two woman he was involved with I would have walked...and he didnt even do anything physical..I know I couldnt have lived with it...As it was it took every ounce of strength and patience not to throw him out cause I wanted tooo sooo badly cause I was so hurt..and still am hurt..But it is better...and recently we started communicating a liitle more so thats good.

Good luck to you...I hope he wakes up..If not you deserve better than to have your husband texting another woman he loves her....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 4:51pm

"Hearing" him telling her he loves her has to be as tough as it gets.