Stuck with holding the bag

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Stuck with holding the bag
5
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 2:18pm

New to the board and since reading the messages posted it has helped me put some things in perspective. I am going on week 3 since my husband of 18 years informed me he wanted a divorce and fell in love with someone else. We have a 17 year old son and my son from a previous marriage who is 26 both want to hang him by his b-lls. He moved out 2 weeks ago and moved in with the OW he also said he lost his job.


We are in the middle of a bankruptcy and there is no way I could make the mortgage payments on my income. With the housing market we owe more than it is worth there is no assets. Should I be looking for a place to live how does this work? I talked to an attorney and she needed all our financial info including our bank statements. Since we have joint accounts I opened his to see the activity and found he was dating this person longer than he admitted which he also stated they have not had sex, but on the statement it has him renting a motel room 3 times in March alone! He also overdrafted his acct purchasing a value meal at Burger Kg.


Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.


Willow

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 3:57pm

I'm sorry for your pain and loss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 8:31pm

Hi, I agree with renting the house out if at all possible. Does your 26yr old live with you? If so, perhaps he can help with the mortgage. If not, he may be a good source to help find renters as most in his age group do rent.


Also, just a word of wisdom. There is a good chance now that him and OW are together 24/7, the affair fantasy will be gone and real life will kick in for them. Then he

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 04-16-2009 - 9:16am

If he can't afford a BK meal then I would say that the Karma

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Thu, 04-16-2009 - 9:32am

Thanks for your words of wisdom they are greatly needed. I am hoping once the bank is notified there may be an option to work something out to continue living in the house but with the bankruptcy hanging over my head I am not feeling too encouraged. My 26 yr. son has his own apartment and

Willow

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-16-2009 - 1:57pm

Wow, are you saying they have only known each other 4 weeks???Just like 5diamond says, those "feel good" chemicals are at their highest right now and the fog is at it's thickest. Seems to me your H is escaping from reality in a big way and it won't be long.........CRASH!!


You, on the otherhand, seem very together even while going through this early raw stage of betrayal. So..be patient and keep moving forward to your new beginning.


PS: I like 5 diamond's idea of finding tenants. You might want to go to your local colleges and find out if there are students looking to rent a room. Another source would be the local senior center.


Keep posting, we care