Is texting and sexting considered infidelity?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Is texting and sexting considered infidelity?
22
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 5:46pm

Hi.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 8:24pm

I came searching looking for others who have had this happen to them and how they handle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 3:23am
Being honest and true is what's good for your marriage. About this I have no doubt at all Dr. Phil would use one of his favorite responses: if he wouldn't do it right in front of you, then it's cheating. It usually turns out like that, so I agree. If you have SEEN the messages, how is it he's denying anything, though? Him leaving the phone as a test? I don't quite believe that, most hide that stupid phone like their life depends on it, and don't believe he truly thinks sexting isn't wrong OR that it's good for your marriage, such nonsense. I'm not bothered by snooping anymore, not at all. It usually doesn't matter how "gorgeous" they are, it's all about willingness and availability and commitment. If you aren't enough for him anymore, that's his fault and his problem, it's NOT ABOUT YOU, that's a lesson most of us learn the hard way, by somebody else beating it into our heads. Many of us have also learned the second it's necessary to even SAY "we're just friends", something is already going on somewhere. Go for counseling, it's too confusing not to.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 10:37am

I think the reason he left the phone out as a "test" is because I told him a few days ago that I would never look at his phone, but I couldn't help myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 1:41pm

When a married man is guarding his cell phone with his life, that is a BIG sign that there is stuff on there that he doesn't want a wife see. In fact being very overprotective of his phone is the first sign that a wife will see/ remember when she thinks back to when she first suspected he was doing something shady. He may or may not be having an affair, but is at least doing some inappropriate texting/emailing/calling another/other women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 6:34pm

Is texting and sexting considered infidelity?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Thu, 05-26-2011 - 5:15pm

There is nothing "okay" with that. Not at all.

You deserve the best as a woman and that is no good. Confront him that it is not okay, and tell him you will not put up with it. There is no reason you should have to. Good luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2011
Sun, 05-29-2011 - 3:02am
the couseling will not solve any issues... your husband is sure he owns u (secure that you are faithful to him) so he is looking for new excitement. solution is to get his brains moving... break the routine - use mystery to advantage- new look- changes in personal responses to his attempts. eg, if you would yell as a response to matter now flip.
Go out looking extra glamerous and do not let him know where u r goin. do not pick up on his calls until later. but always make sure u have proof that u didnt do anything wrong. When u go out with him let men flirt with u.. let him feel jealous.
Then this is how u spice things up and he wont look at other women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2011
Sun, 05-29-2011 - 3:07am
key number 1- pretend to be clueless, fake happiness about his relationship and tell him he should go ahead and enjoy his youth- this way he will be bedazzled and confused. then you use the totally ignore approach - you will make the best meal for urself and others and not for him- you can give him a small sandwich .. dress up - style make over- hit the local gym where there r tonns of hot guys-- let him over hear you talk about someones muscles or figure. get his brain working so he will start following you everywhere... wear seductively- get him jealous..
things will work to ur benefit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 6:07am

All I can say is that one misstep can ruin one's life and one's family forever.

My SO thought it was cute and an ego boost to email and flirt with a girl who turned out to be underage (while I was working my butt off trying to support us). One and a half years of hell later, he is facing 6 months in jail and a life-time of having to register as a sex offender.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 11:28am

WRONG!

chaika

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