texting his ex & lying ... How can I trust him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2011
texting his ex & lying ... How can I trust him?
12
Wed, 08-03-2011 - 11:59am

I'm new on here and have been reading all the articles and have def decided to join & tell my story to get some advice. My H signed up for facebook back in Dec and got connected with an ex gf.. He hid the fact they he was calling her while I was at work and texting her all day from his phone and also emailing here and there. I found some texts and when I confronted him he lied... So I showed him the texts and he finally admitted he was doing it..Said he'd stop ..2 months later we are on a weekend get away and I find texts again from him to her ...I confront him and he lies again when I ask if he's been in contact with her....So again I show him the texts I found and he admits it (Hello!!! its in black & white in front of him for him to admit it and he's def busted again.... grrr!!!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
The lying is such a bugaboo to a relationship, it can permanently erode any relationship of any kind. If he's done it a long time, he will need professional help if there's a chance he can stop doing it - trust me, I'm still dealing with my DH's habit there myself, he just cannot quite stop. After awhile, even "tiny" lies - if there is such a thing - even those begin to feel like Mt. Everest to you, as our therapist has told my DH "there's no longer such a thing as a small deception in your marriage". Look at what you wrote - he keeps making promises he does not keep, and it's with the SAME woman. You have to know this is bad news, there is absolutely something going on. He wouldn't find it necessary to lie otherwise. Have you confronted him he's again broken his promises? What have you got to lose? There's no time like the present with this stuff, otherwise he will definitely keep doing it, he thinks you don't know right now. Trust is his to rebuild - he ain't doing it like this. I know how this feels, when you've heard the "words" that they'll never again have contact....and yet they do. Been there. He can stop if he wants to, he doesn't want to. I had to finally deliver an ultimatum and I meant it - I told my DH verbatim "you can have her in your life or you can have me in your life, but you are not going to have us both one more day".

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2011

Wow is all I can say - I could have written this PERSONALLY MYSELF! :(

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