Therapy?

Avatar for camilionag
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Therapy?
11
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 3:49pm

For those of you who are currently in therapy or have been in the past, what do you hope to gain from going?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: camilionag
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 4:30pm

I have gone to therapy. and it helped me get my feelings out in the open and realize that the "afair" was not my fault but his. Im not the one that did not bring our marriage to an end.

but far as being cured. I dont think so.
I think it was just something my therapist asked to see if I had a goal or an end result.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: camilionag
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 6:39pm
I am in MC not IC - would love to go though - find out why I seem to be such a door mat!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: camilionag
Tue, 04-06-2010 - 6:44pm

I can understand your feeling like door mat. I too feel that way alot. I would start by telling you to write down the things that you need out of a relationship. Then the things you want. Then the top ten things you wont budge on. and stay true and strong to that.

its not an easy thing to do. but its a start.

Im about to confront my spouse with a piece of evidence of him cheating on me tonight. I can only imagine what "excuses" he is going to give me that I will be a "doormat" to.

Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: camilionag
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 11:30pm
You hang in there too - is this an again? Or the 1st A? Thanks for telling me to write 10 things, I'll have to think about that one for a while....
Honesty will be right at the top though... that's for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: camilionag
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 10:46am
my situation is not out in the open right now. I just could not bring myself to ask about the websight. I know in my heart but I want more proof before I confront him with the facts. Its not that I have been alone for 14 yrs. Its just that this new relationship has opened my eyes and I truly care for this man. I want to forget all about what i have found. But i know better. I just dont want to start the boat rocking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: camilionag
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 1:12pm

Missy,


You mean he doesn't know you know? Then it's still on going? You can't just forget all about it, it will eat you alive. Aside from the fact, YOU aren't going to start the

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: camilionag
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 1:44pm
Thank you.
This is hard. No he does not know that im on to him. I have not gotten the courage up to say anything to him yet. I chickened out the other day, I know I had him. but i just could not do it. It is eating me alive. But for now Im waiting. Thats just me though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: camilionag
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 5:24pm
What are you waiting for? And are you just going on as if life is normal? How can you do that? Is he treating you the same as usual or do you see alot of changes?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: camilionag
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 6:51pm

thats the problem. nothing has changed. He still does all the same things. He is home most of the day until he has to go to work. There are a few "errands" he has to do. which most of them are legitimate. I have checked up on them. Two that are not but he went fishing for an hour.....(i had to believe that one)

Nothing has changed he still acts the same. treats me the same. accounts for his hours extremely well.

I think I just need more proof than what I have before I go to him with it. He is really good at excuses. And I want the truth, Im tempted to call the other girl(s) but i just cant. I just need something that he initiated and to call him on it. theres just sooo much to deal with and do. I dont know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: camilionag
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 11:17pm
If you have no proof, and he's accounting for his time right etc. what is making you think that he is? Take a deep breath, and just investigate all that you can, check the wallet when he is in the shower, the car and glove box when he is sleeping, the phone etc. when you can - even press the send button on the phone if you see repetative numbers, look them up on white pages .com and see who they belong too -(it's free)...

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