Thought I was over it but I guess not - My Turn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2011
Thought I was over it but I guess not - My Turn
2
Mon, 05-30-2011 - 10:22pm

Hi I have been in a relationship for 11 years now and have been through several affiars on behalf of my partner. The longest being 1.5 years with someone. The others being shorter. The most recent that I found out about was in january. it happened last year but he came clean about it. We went through something together and I think it changed his outlook so he wanted to come clean with me so that we can move forward. We went through the period when i was really angry and we didnt talk, but eventually we did. He told me things that were bothering him and led him to do what he did (saying that it was not an excuse)etc and we talked about what each other did to hurt the other. So I came to the point where I forgave him and had so much hope for us BUT

Currently he is in another country (3 months now) and wont be back for another 6 months and Now I am finding myself falling for someone else. I have been faithful for 11 years and just like that I am going down the same road that he went down. my mind tells me that it can only lead to trouble, but it also says that it is time that I feel what it is like to be with someone else. Part of me I guess is still angry, yet I do not feel like I am doing it out of spite. I just like this person and feel like i really dont care how he feels. Dont know if I am making much sense and dont really know if I want to get talked out of what i am about to do but just looking for some opinions and anyone who has been in my shoes.

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2011

I guess when you put it like that it make sense. Why would I? I guess I am still here for the reasons why many women stay. Kids, 'love', the amount of time invested......, not all of the time being bad and hurtfull.

Wish it were that simple, although I figure that I am gonna complicate things even more.

Thanks for your response

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008

It sounds like your BF of 11 years is a serial cheater so why would you even want to stay with him anyhow?