Torn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2009
Torn
2
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 1:35am

I have been with the same guy for 15 years. We have been married for 3 years and have a family together. I love him but I refused to be a victim of his lies and deception. Since our marriage he has cheated twice and posted nude pictures of himself on the internet muliple times. He constantly tells me that he loves me, that he's sorry and that it will never happen again but of course I don't believe him. I honestly wish there was some way that he could become a better man, the kind of man I deserve and need in my life but I don't see that happening. I know that I could never trust him the way I did before he decided to cheat. He has stated that he would like for us to go to counseling but I don't want to. I feel like I given this man so much and can't stand the thought of having to put forth more effort to try to work things out when he was the only one in the wrong. So my question to you is: Should I give up and move on or get counseling and salvage our 10 year+ relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: jenni2009
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 1:47am

If you really think all your trust in him is gone then you should move on. Maybe he needs to go to counseling since he seems to lack self control over himself. Honestly it sounds like you have had enough of this relationship and already checked out. From what i've seen a lot of men will keep trying to get away with bad behavior, until they know you are SERIOUS about leaving their sorry butts. Sometimes that shapes them up real fast when they see what they are about to lose. Then they start begging and crying for another chance. But really if you have no confidence in his ability to change you should end it now.

Edited 2/15/2009 1:58 am ET by peaceyma




Edited 2/16/2009 3:19 am ET by peaceyma
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2009
In reply to: jenni2009
Sun, 02-15-2009 - 11:15pm
Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate and needed it.