Transference from counselor

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Transference from counselor
Fri, 06-12-2009 - 6:34pm
So my wife and I have seen this marraige counselor once together and then seperate. During our session she flat told me to leave my wife, said she would never change. She then shared that her husband cheated on her twice and she would never stay with a cheater, she then throws her hands up and says "good luck" and
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 06-12-2009 - 9:30pm
I recommend you find a new therapist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 2:30am

Find a new counselor for sure. They are not there to tell you what to do based on their own experiences. After our #1 dday, we saw a counselor who I could tell did not really have an interest in helping us. Then I saw an IC who I could tell was really burned out. We never really got to the bottom of why he did what he did so.......

Two years later dday#2 hit (same OW)! I told him we were done but a few months down the line he asked me to see a counselor that he had seen a couple times in IC. This counselor took time to get to know us and he guided us in a professional manner.

I do agree that IC first is better in some cases but make sure to find the right one.

Hope things work out for you

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 06-13-2009 - 9:30am
Get a new therapist.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Sun, 06-14-2009 - 6:03pm
Yes find a new one - someone who will listen and help you express yourself
good thing she let you know that she is not the right one quickly
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 5:44pm

I just had to reply to this one because I was appalled at what your therapist did. I'm currently earning my degree in that area, and your therapist broke the number one "ethical rule"; emotional objectivity. Your therapist needs to leave her life and her issues out of her work, and she didn't. In fact, she could get in a lot of trouble for behaving that way.

I agree with the others and suggest you absolutely find another counselor, one who can remain objective and guide you into making your own decisions. And if I were you, I would contact someone about her behavior (whomever the appropriate party), but you may just prefer to let it be.