Trying to cope

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Trying to cope
4
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 10:52pm
I'm new to the board and I just really need some support! I can't talk to anyone else about it because I don't want my children to find out about it. I don't have a best friend either. My husband of 16 years is an over the road truck driver. He took a woman with him on the road and had an affair. He said it was one time and it meant nothing and he is sick about it. Well he has told me he loves me only wants me and so forth and I believe him, however I can't make the pain stop. He is still an OTR truck driver and I am always wondering what he is doing. He calls me all the time. I check cell phone records religiously and so forth. I feel like I have forgiven him, but I'm still reeling from the hurt and pain. It has been over a year since the DDay but I can't seem to cope. I don't think about it as much but when it does come back, it really hurts. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to help myself get over it? I'm really struggling because I want to keep my family together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
In reply to:
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:49am
Sorry typing long posts on my phone is never good.no edit.button. I didn't mean to imply he cheated more than once, just that you never again have the luxury of saying he would never cheat. That alone is a rough thing to digest. Hugs and good luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
In reply to:
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 7:42am
Hugs to you. I m in a.similar boat with a h who travels alot for work. We are 21 months from d day and I still think about,it every day. Not obsessivly but at least a passing thought. One thing you will have to get your h to understand is that some of this it's the new normal. It sounds harsh but you never get three luxury of saying he would never do that again. Because he has proven yeah he would.

Ok that said he will be the one who puts your mind at ease. Whether it ifs by calls,, texts, or just overall behavior. Now that I know how my husband acted during his A ands how he acts out of the fog, I am very tuned into his behavior. If goes anywhere near his past behavior we will divorce ands he knows it.

Not really sure I am much help to you other than to give it time and really share with him your feelings often. I think it takes a little longer when they travel because we don't get the comfort of knowing where they are, what they are doing, ands who they are doing it with. However I will say.that my h does try now to clue me in a lot more about what he is doing ands that helps alot. Good luck to you.
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to:
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 12:00am

~hugs~

<3

Nightangel