iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 2:32pm

OMG I am going to flip out royally…

When I came to work today I saw unopened paint cans and Home Depot catalogs in the administration area.  I did not think anything of it.  Later a nurse on the third shift texted me asking “Did someone pick up the paint yet?”

I was perplexed as why he was asking ME this and answered no.  He texted, “Tell your boyfriend to get on it.  I hired him a few days ago, when is he going to come by?” (He obviously does not know we broke up as I have not announced to everyone on the planet…Now this ahole X is doing f’ing work for the nurses in the ER????)

I have not answered him yet…

On another note, I had a dream the other night that I went into our local sub shop and XBF and several mutual friends were there.  One mutual friend stated that XBF wanted me back and asked if we “Kissed and made up.” XBF nodded and told me to call him when I left.  I did and we decided to meet for coffee.  We met and he said he wanted to get back together.  I WAS ELATED!!!!  I him that I wanted that two but he had to agree to two terms: Get rid of the IPhone and we go to counselling ASAP.  He disagreed, especially to the IPhone thing; saying it had nothing to do w/our relationship.  I said, “Yes it does, you are on a dating website.  Don’t try to deny it.  I have the copy in my pocketbook.”

He smiled and said, “I’m sure you do.”

He said he was not agreeing to anything.  I ran out of the restaurant while he sat there with that smug smile on his face.  OMG it was so real!!!!

Oh boy I hope I am not as lame in real life!!!!  I also dreamt about him this morning, which we had gotten back together and were hanging around having a blast with the kids….. :(   At least this dream was kinda fuzzy!!!   



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 3:15pm

I actually called my coworker and told him what happened.  He said he did hire someone from XBF’s company, but did not talk to XBF about it. 

One of the other construction workers was supposed to pick up the supplies today but did not.  My coworker said he supported me in my decision and thinks it is for best…

I’m feeling a little bit better now.  God I wish XBF would retire and move to South Carolina already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2002
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 4:56pm

Hi Gal!  Too bad we can't control our dreams and they can stay with us all day long or longer.  But we can control our waking hours!  I'm thinking if you started going out with other girls and guys, it may fill your thoughts with other distractions and keep you from thinking of XBF.. And how in the world did he get a job to paint the ER?  I would think the hospital would retain certain contracters that are licensed, bonded, and insured.  But if does get the job, look hot, ignore him, and smile all day long!

As for me, I'm still in my home w my H.  He acts like nothing ever happened.  We don't go to counseling, and I don't bring anything up bec we just fight when I do.  He is so grumpy lately and I am a vibrant, talkative woman.  I do my hair everyday and makeup, I keep myself thin, and spend lots of time with our four amazing kids. I work and bring in a very decent income.    Lately I have been questioning my decisiion.  He gave me a diamond ring a few weeks back.  I tried to return it but I couldn;t without his credit card and he went back and got it and gave it back to me.  I wear it, but it is just a reminder of all i've dealt with since November.  Its been 21 years and sometimes I wonder if I want to do this forever.   I guess time will tell...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 7:58am

Thanks Lisa.  I don’t understand why your H won’t go to counselling.  My XH would not go either.  It really kills me when they act like nothing ever happened…XH was notorious for that sh&*!!!  Just keep plugging away; keep looking good…

What is it with these guys and diamond rings??? My XH did the same thing.  He ordered on the internet and it was too big.  He was taking his sweet time to get it sized and I started getting mad, thinking he gave it to OW. We finally had it sized, I wore it for maybe 1-2 months when I found he was ONCE AGAIN with OW so I gave it back.  I LOVE IT…They can never get the same amount of money back on jewelry…the depreciation is almost as bad as a car!!!

I know I should be going out more often but it is hard with the kids and working a lot, plus my friends are still sick.  I only have two kids I can’t imaging taking care of four!! God Bless!!!

As far as XBF…This job was for the guy’s house, not the ER (He and most of his coworkers do side jobs for a lot of ppl in this city).  Although his company is contracted to do work for the hospital and they are licensed, bonded, and insured; so it is possible that they are around from time to time.

One of XBF’s coworkers came in this morning to get the supplies.  He  yelled out to me, “Christy, Jim said this is yours.”

I thought he was talking about my house keys, but it was a package I had delivered to his house b/f I found out he was on meetme.com.  I, too have been putting on makeup and trying to look nice (like today!) and put on a big smile and took the package.  He asked how I was doing and still with that big smile I said “Good” in a real happy tone.  He said bye and left….

Good luck and keep posting..maybe you should go to counselling on your own? I have a family therapist I see every two weeks…She was originally for my kids (My son has special needs) but I began talking to her about XBF (She knows story of XH) and she makes me feel better; more grounded…. J