Very confused, would rather be...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Very confused, would rather be...
2
Tue, 08-04-2009 - 5:07pm
angry. I just found out my common-law husband (I say common-law because we've been together for 10 years and have 2 children together, but not married and not quite considered boyfriend/gilrfriend) had sex with a girl from Craigslist.

Margie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 2:46pm

If you want to give him a chance, create a list of things you need to see from him before you let him move home. Make him earn his way back. I don't know how many BS regret being too easy on the WS at this stage. Let him know there are serious consequences for his actions and if he wants back, he has to show you that he is the kind of man you want to be M to. Below are a couple of things I would need.

1. NC with ow
2. Total transparency
3. He has to be totally responsible for his R with his children and it better be a good R.
4. He has to woo you.
5. You and your children must be his top priority.
6. No going out without you.

I am sure you could add a lot of specifics to this to help you feel secure.

I hate the saying that love is all we need. That is so not true. You love him, but that just isn't enough. What else do you need from him besides love? You decide and make him prove that his can and will give it to you before you let him come home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 6:03pm

Thank you for your advise.

Margie