What to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
What to do
29
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 12:39am

This is my first time posting here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 12:38am
Tell her that she has to make a decision whether a 7 week infatuation with some guy that she really does not know OR her childrens well being is more important to her. Unfortunately if she is in love with or thinks she's in love with this guy this is going to be a real hard thing to deal with for both of you. She is in that new, in love euphoric stage which produces chemicals in the brain similar to a cocaine high, and being in love is often referred to as "a state of temporary insanity" which it truly is. She does not really know this guy and those euphoric in love feelings would soon wear off if she moved in with this guy and lived with him 24/7 and had to deal with real life with him. Though trying to make her realize this now is going to be almost impossible because of all those crazy chemicals being released in her brain. I think your best bet right now is going to marriage counseling
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 8:02am

Welcome to the board.

Im sorry for your confliction. I know this is a tough situation. Its good that you are in therapy and that it is working. Its a great first step. Somedays are going to be harder than others though. You will still have your ups and downs. You need to make your feelings known though.

Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 9:11am

peaceyma, yes I agree 100% and I keep telling her this all the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 9:13am
missybee, I'm not sure what you mean by "you have to make your feelings known".
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 2:14pm

letting her know how your feeling is good.

How many times have you both gone to therapy lately?
Its not going to be an overnight change. It will take a while. But it should help you both.

Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 2:37pm

Hi Mike


You're right, the majority here are

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 2:38pm

I think I've expressed all my feelings to her, both good and bad.


We've been to therapy together twice and will go again this week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 2:52pm

thats good. Do you see any progress in the past few weeks.

Im sure vacation was not fun at all. Did you two at least spend some time together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 3:08pm

Hi mikelion,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
In reply to: mikelion
Mon, 04-05-2010 - 3:55pm
I think you will find your marriage counselor recommend that she move out, find a place of her own, its called NC or No Contact.. with the other man until she divorces you or moves back with you.

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