What to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2009
What to do
9
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 11:25am

Thank goodness I found a good place to talk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: lilyblsm
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 12:13pm
Lilyblsm, it looks from here like the separation so quickly after D Day has made it really difficult.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: lilyblsm
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 12:44pm

I'm so sorry you find yourself here Lily,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: lilyblsm
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 2:22pm
Welcome to the board - I'm sorry for your pain but you are among people who understand totally how you feel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2009
In reply to: lilyblsm
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 6:40pm

Thank you for the welcome everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2009
In reply to: lilyblsm
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 7:00pm

There is a book you may want to try. It's called "Not just friends." By Shirley Glass. That may have more info your DH is looking for.


I do think it

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: lilyblsm
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 9:31pm

High school loves.

Ouch! Yeah, that was my spouses affair partner (AP). Here is my story:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rladultery/?msg=45929.1

Old flames are tricky because our spouses have thought about them for some time. I know that I gave my own high school love far too much time in my head over the years.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Make sure you are taking care of yourself first.

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Status: Figuring it out. Together.

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: lilyblsm
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 9:59am
His response to the EA issue is a very positive thing, he wants to focus on your situation and make sure he's doing the right things.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2009
In reply to: lilyblsm
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 6:22pm

Yes, his response to the EA is positive but they had plans to meet and get down and dirty in AR.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
In reply to: lilyblsm
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 9:30am
I'm glad you feel you're in a decent place now. Try to be ready for anything, but keep in mind that no matter how hard you try you won't always be ready. Emotions will come out of nowhere and just rock you back on your heels. "Trickle truth", little details that you don't know know but come out later, may cause you additional pain. His attitude and commitment will waver at times. In terms of whys, here http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscheating/0,,np1d,00.html is a good article on that subject. It's actually an excerpt from "Not Just Friends", but if it's on hold at least it's something you can look at now. Hang in there.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein