What EXACTLY do I say to the OW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2009
What EXACTLY do I say to the OW?
13
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 6:41pm

I really need help! I'll keep it as short as I can.


My soon-to-be ex husband has a friend who quickly became a best friend to them having an emotional affair for months, maybe even over a year. The OW knows he's married and has kids (our kids). She has a fiance! What the heck happened here?! The OW has always been flirty with men since HS, and even though she's madly in love with her fiance she still continues to toy with my husband's feelings. She once told him she loved him and he was so thrilled then suddenly she comes up with this, "I still want to be with my fiance, but I do love you too". My husband wants to be with her, but she doesn't. She just wants to keep playing with him. Why is that?!


Now, the OW has recently

Blusparklies

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 7:00pm
The strongest message you can send is to NOT REPLY.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 7:38pm
As hard as it is, the strongest message you can send her is .... nothing at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 8:15pm
Don't respond. By speaking to her you will 1.-be playing the game she wants to play which is the drama queen game 2.- you will just get upset because this woman is good at what she does, and she will make sure she hurts you with what she says.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2009
Mon, 03-16-2009 - 8:45pm

Well, if everyone agrees that I should ignore the OW then I will. I just wasn't sure. I was thinking that

Blusparklies

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 2:46am
I agree, don't let her toy with YOU, too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 8:00am
She sees you as a rival. You bother her because you simply ARE.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 8:19am
There must be a book written somewhere that all the OW's read because I have experienced the same thing. She emailed,did hang up calls, made threats and just made my life miserable for 7 years. Finally I put all the emails in the hands of my attorney and that didn't stop her. SO I sent all the emails to her DH. That stopped her cold. IF she threatens you it's illegal and there's recourse. Just ignoring her will work..eventually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 11:43am
Never wrestle with a pig.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2009
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 10:33am

"Never wrestle with a pig."


That is such a GREAT line.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 6:53pm
I would find out who her fiance is and tell him exactly whats going on.
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