what i thought was true

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2009
what i thought was true
3
Sun, 07-12-2009 - 4:58pm
I don't even know where to start and I don't even know what to do. I just found out yesterday for sure that my husband cheated on me. I am 8 months pregnant, and he didn't cheat on me with a women it was a man. I knew he was bi for about 5 months now but he always said he would never cheat on me. I went to the beach for the weekend and I came home and I found e-mails with pictures and a address. I asked him about it and he said he didn't do anything but then I saw on his IM that he was telling other people about what he did two weeks ago and what I thought was true. I don't know what to do. I still love him and i don't want to believe he did it but i know in my gut he did. I don't have a job so I cant just leave, I'm guessing I'll just smile and bear it but I need someone to talk to it about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Mon, 07-13-2009 - 12:16am

we are here for you.

i would caution you to take precautions medically for obvious reasons.

you might want to make an appt with a therapist to help you with this, as i am sure you have many questions as a straight woman.

while i know you are in a tough position i would ask that you take this into consideration. you simply SHOULD NOT sacrifice your life, you deserve SOOOOOO much more. you may think you can live with what he has done; but what you will not be able to live with is operating in a constant mode of stress. what is he doing and who is he doing it with? trust is so important in any relationship. i believe you deserve to be with someone who thinks the sun rises and sets on your pretty head, don't you? if you don't well that is the first thing you need to work on - believing you are worthy of the best.

if you think about it it does not much matter who he cheated with. cheating is cheating - even if it is with a blue alien. why did your h feel it was ok to betray you? this is the number one question you should be asking him. i can not speak to the issue of him being bi; out of my range of expertise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Mon, 07-13-2009 - 12:19am
there is a message board that deals with sex. one of the topics is bisexuality; you might find some people there that can answer some of your questions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2009
Wed, 07-15-2009 - 11:34am
I know how hard it is to be pregnant and relize the man you love has just stepped on your heart. it doesn't matter man or woman physical or not the problem is hes giving apart of him away that belongs to only you. Maybe he needs more in his sex life but it needs to be brought to you he shouldn't find it somewhere else. I was able to forgive after a lot of time but he has to understand that if its going to work he needs to know if he wants you or a man being bi is fine if you excepted it then you and him can work through it but if hes committed to you then he needs to be with ONLY you. I am sorry that you have to go through this pregnant and I hope that you get the answers your looking for. Best of luck to you and your soon to be new baby....