What if your gut feeling is wrong...how?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
What if your gut feeling is wrong...how?
22
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 3:37pm

Just like I said it. You've had this gut feeling and it's down deep. Even though there has been things that you think that might lead to your spouse having an affair. But, they keep saying no.....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 5:06pm
Investigate thoroughly - as much as you have to until you're satisfied. Is he open with the phone call log, his phone? His where abouts? Does he check in? Do you know where all the money goes? how much there is and where? What he spends it on and when? You may need to know all this before you can feel better. Had I trusted my 'gut' feeling even when he was denying it, I would have found out months and months before I did about the affair.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2005
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 5:50pm

If I had gone with my gut initially, I would have had things figured out WAY sooner than I did and moved faster than I did. If you suspected something bad was happening to your child, or a loved one...would you act on it? Trust it? Mmmmhmmmm. Always, always listen to your gut...there's a great book on intuation called "The Gift of Fear"...not really relevant to affairs, really..but, a great book about instinct and intuition, you should check it out, it's by Gavin de Becker. Good stuff.

Good luck & take care of you the same way you would take care of the people you love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 8:56pm

2 to 3 years ago my husband started to talk to a co worker about there boss a lot!! They were always talking on the phone during the weekends about him and it didn't bother me so much until I looked at his phone and they were talking up to 30 min to hour at a time. I didn't say anything but, I got this strange feeling over me. Then I saw her at a store and she said if they didn't stop talking so much on the phone I was going to start thinking they were having an affair. I froze and my stomach went lump!! I said well you never know do you? This would not surprise me in the least. She looked at me horrified!! And she told me if I needed anything to let her know.......huh huh..... Then my husband came to my work and asked me if I had talked to her about an affair with her. I said yes but

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 12:34am

M,


First let me say that you will need to investigate and or go with your gut feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 12:48am
I don't think they were talking about there boss all that time. I mean how long and how often can one talk about their boss right. The fact that he got all nervous and called her right before and after he left is to me very telling. I think he called her to tell her how the convo between you and him went, and whether he felt that you were suspicious of them. And who's hair was in his underwear if it's not your hair color. Add to that his anger and defensiveness when you questioned him and I think it all adds up to them cheating. An innocent person would not be so defensive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 8:33am
...the public hair is big (though I really seen just dark, darker, and reddish...so, it would be hard to discern)...I think the fact that she feels something is wrong to the point of examining underwear, something is probably wrong...also, total transparency is needed...the phone, first and foremost...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 12:22pm

Ohhh it's just so hard!! The hair I found was mid length to short and curly. Hers..... He told me he doesn't know how it got on his underwear. This was several times. And it happened 2 years ago. I would hate to bring that up again. I'm kind a push over or a chicken if you would have to call me anything.


He talks really bad in his sleep. He never says her name or anything but, he yelled out last night OHHHH Ohhhh my God!!!!! We got caught. OMG!!!!! He blew out some air out of his mouth and then he said "You are a Liar!!!!!" I know I can't go on that what he says but, the timing is bad for him to say something like that.


As far as the phone he does have a lot of contacts and some of them are members out at the country club. And as far as knowing who the incoming calls are they just say incoming. We have US Cellular and they don't allow the incoming call numbers to show up. We have no texting. Keep this in mind that they work at the same place. So....they could easily speak on the clubs phone just as easy.


Yes he does run late from work. But, getting all the golf carts up, put them away and closing the pro shop takes some time.


During the day he does have a few hours in there that he doesn't work. But, she works there too and with them leaving at the same time.....I wouldn't know. I work all day in my own business and it really hard to get away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 9:10pm
just a little up date....I heard through the grapevine that they were caught in the golf cart barn together. Caught doing what? I don't know
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 11:30pm

M,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 8:17pm
Did you hear it from a reliable source, if so why not question the source of this so called rumor?


Edited 6/16/2010 8:19 pm ET by peaceyma

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