What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
What should I do?
4
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 2:18pm
My worst fear has come to pass. I just found out that my husband has been visiting pornographic sites yet again. Despite the fact that he is being held accountable to our assistant pastor and that every single website he goes on is being monitored by him, he still goes on these sites. We have been dealing with this for our entire marriage. I have tried counceling and I even caught him once in the shower on the internet and I threw his phone in the lake. It has become a decietful act now to where he is purchasing things like a waterproof cellphone with internet access to his laptop which he begged me for the longest time to get. I told him
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 5:13pm

I don't know if this is any help to you but my husband had a porn addiction. The problem with these things is they are progressive. Men, eventually need to act . So , his porn addiction led him to secretly going to strip clubs occasionally... to being solicited by one of the college student/strippers there,... to having a less than one year long 'hook up' sex affair with her. The problem is once

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 5:55pm

Hi,


I want to preface with I am sorry that you are going through this. I am going to give you the perspective of a Christian man. I have a few suggestions that may help you and your communication with your husband on this subject. He obviously is a sex addict. It starts off with just looking at a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, it stimulates the male mind because we are wired to be visual. That then is not enough, soft porn and then before you know it you have him viewing some really disgusting stuff. I know that it has to be hard for you to see this and not internalize it. It has nothing to do with you or if you are desireable or not, he is an addict. It may be hard but when you confront him, do it in love. Do not attack him, this will cause him to withdraw. Make him feel safe, tell him that when he has these urges that he can share that with you. I am telling you I have witnessed it countless times in my church. If your spouse feels safe sharing with you he has urges to view porn it will help with his feelings of

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 6:05pm
I absolutely agree bornagain because for years, I would be hurt and demand my husband look at me and what happened was,
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 8:36am

Sadly, what your H says is immaterial - it's his actions that count.