What were you doing at the time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
What were you doing at the time?
14
Sun, 08-15-2010 - 10:36am

Do any of you ever wonder what you were doing at the time the cheating was going on?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 2:10am

One of the first times i began to suspect something was going on I had just driven 5hrs out to see him and was following him in my car as we where going to a park as I'd taken the dog with me.. any way i get a text from him..... I just came inside you again...


I was like WTF??? then the naive part of me is umm i wonder is

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 5:34pm

When H's first

katuk
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 3:56pm
I guess I SHOULD consider myself halfway lucky since it appears my DH never got physical with the two women in question.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 12:21pm

Here is another one: after I got the meds I was on bed-rest and had to lay on my left side the whole time and could only be up for 15 minutes at a time, three times a day. The meds made me shake uncontrolably so I couldn't hold a book to read so I mostly just watched TV. The Scott Pererson case was very much in the news at the time (you know, the guy who killed his pregnant wife Laci and was having an affair) and we lived in the Bay Area so the story was also local. I would watch the news reports of the trial prep or whatever it was that was going on and I would be thinking about this guy cheating on his pregnant wife and feel...and all the while my husband was cheating on me.

I remember saying to husband "I really don't care if he is guilty or not of the murder. He cheated on his pregnant wife. If he goes to jail for the rest of his life for a cir e he didn't commit, it really doesn't matter. He is a piece of scum". It is sureal that I was saying that to a man who was cheating on me while I was pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 11:14am

Well, one night that he was in her office getting his nightly BJ, I was at home, laying in bed, trying to reach him because I had just gotten a test result back that showed I was in preterm labor. I kept calling and calling because I needed him to get a prescription ASAP. My OB kept calling me saying that it was a real emergency and she had to get the prescription to me and needed to know where to call in the prescription (his office was in a different area than the pharmacy I usually went to). She was trying to keep from hospitalizing me but said that if I didn't have the meeds in an hour, she would have to send an ambulance for me. Then, to make matters worse, she said "don't you have a girlfriend I can call?" I told her that all my friends were on a girls weekend out of town which was a lie. The truth was I didn't have any friends in that town who were close enough to call at 9:30pm to ask for help. All of my friends were 3000 miles away. Finally, he called back, in a panic, thAt didn't sound like real concern for me and claimed to be in a meeting in the office next to his and that he had forgotten his cell phone. At the time, it didn't make any sense but I was too concerned about my baby to focus on it. The next day I questioned him. You didn't hear the phone ringing? No, he said the doors were closed. Then he acted like I was picking on him and like I was a total impossible b**ch for questioning him and I thought "wow, there I go again, being so difficult" and well....it went on.

Another time he was away with her for a week on a business trip and I was home with my three week old daughter who was born a month early. He didn't have to go on the trip...one of his partners was going to cover for him because the trip corresponded with the week before my dd's original due date. I later was told, by him, that he decided to go on this trip when I wouldn't give him BJ's or a Hand J in the days after I delivered my dd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 12:13am
Good one!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 12:12am

I’m so sorry, that is just wrong and none of us should have to endure anything like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 1:59pm
.....Trusting my husband, go figure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 1:33am

My H had a long term sordid affair. It hurt so much when I was able to look back and remember many times when I used to kid with him about an OW and he would laugh it off. When I learned that what I was naively joking about was actually true, I felt like such the fool.


I also learned that I was cooking him Sunday breakfast shortly after he had snuck out in the wee hours to "do" her.


I would be home studying (nursing school) and he would go to the "casino".


How can these cheaters be ok with sooooo many endless lies, I will NEVER understand!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 12:20am

During the EA, I was trying to alternatively give him space and be lovingly supportive because he was so depressed about the sudden downturn in his career.

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