when did you know

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
when did you know
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 7:20pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2008
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 9:40pm

I think you have already answered that for yourself.

We all started with gut instinct or the feeling that something is not right.

From there some of us waited for proof, some went out and found proof and others just acted on their gut instinct.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 6:49am
TRUST YOUR GUT!!!! I IGNORED Mine and if I would have stopped and trusted myself I wouldn't even have to figure out how to pay for a divorce or start my life over because I would have broken up with him when I found out what he was doing. A little background. I met,fell in love with my best and only male friends. It was something straight out of a fairy-tale. Until after we said I do. He knew the type of man I was seeking and I was an exciting challenge for him, it was like a game. Once he finally had me and married me the excitement was over. He started to reveal his true self. An Internet porn addict, a ma with a serious ego and self esteem problem. The only thing that makes him feel better is validation by other women. Not by his wife who has loved and supported him through joblessness ,etc, but strangers who promise a bunch of what ifs. Follow your gut. He kept trying to tell me the things I saw and noticed were all in my head. If I said wow the sky is really blue today he would say,no its purple and he kept saying it until the love and trust I had for him made me say, yeah, maybe it is purple. TRUST yourself. We put ourselves through more hurt and misery trying to ignore things that are right in front of our faces. We ask GOD for answers and then if we don't like the answer we ignore it and possibly add 2-5-ten plus years to our struggle and heartache. if we listen when he shows things to us it would change allot. I'm guilty also. I put more faith in my marriage and love of a man than god. It wasn't intentional. I just love him and trusted him so much that I forgot that we are all still human and still need to be held to human standards. Sometimes when we love people we hold them to subhuman standards. Like they are GODS,heroes ,rescuers. Sometimes when give them credit for changes and happiness in our life that was really GOD and not them. When we do that, god will take that thing that causes us to ignore him away from us. Even if you don't believe in GOD, whatever you believe all of them are jealous Gods. Whether it be Allah or Yaweh, when you give more acknowledgement to people, that thing you covet will be taken away from you. That is what I learned. I coveted marriage and a husband so much that I may have ignored and excepted many behaviors that should have never been excepted. STAY strong. Pause, stop, look,listen and stop being afraid to ask hard questions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:17pm

(((Katie))) For me personally I came to realize that I was finished when I got sick and tired of living on false hope and empty promises. For every discussion about how we'd see it through there was another lie or failure to do what he said he was going to do. It became about how I felt in the relationship as opposed to trying to