Who are you ?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Who are you ?????
10
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 2:32pm

My wife came by the house today while I was in the process of dismantling the Master Bedroom set. She looked like crap and told me that she taking a Leave of Absence from work. I did not want to be in the same house/room/state with her.


She told me on multiple times that "nothing happened" in our house. Am I suppose to be happy about this? I bit my tongue the entire she was talking. I hate the taste of my own blood.


I told her her that the bedroom and living sets were going into storage. She can have them. She wanted to know how everyone found out. She was more concerned with how my family found out.


She was a little miffed that I told OM W and that I am going after him through his job. Too bad. No one thought about MY FAMILY so what do I care about his wife/ kids.


I looked at her today and for the first time it dawned on me that I did not know my wife....


Just shoot me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 2:43pm

Raging,


I KNOW how you are feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 3:03pm
That is such a hard feeling to deal with....Who are you?... feeling that way about someone who was your everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 6:06pm

RagingBull


It's been just over a year since I found out about about my wife and OM and I still look at her like she's been invaded by the body snatchers.

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 6:32pm

zb79

That was a great post. Thanks for sharing this. my DW still had thought of going back to the OM until just a few weeks ago. What a disaster the two of them would be. I've spent some time on the phone with the OM and he's really lazy and a hick. DW and I became liberal together, lost our faith together, all kinds of hard transitions. This guy has done none of that and the two of them would seriously clash when fantasyland was over. All the OM likes to think about is hunting and hanging his dear on the living room walls. I stopped hunting animals about a decade ago. I guess in some ways we are the same, I keep asking DW when I can move my rare book collection into the formal living room.

I'm sorry that regardless of what happens—rebuild or divorce—the nightmare doesn't really ever go away.

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Status: Rebuilding

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 9:45pm

as i read your post what came to mind was ' THIS MAN TRULY LOVED HIS WIFE'.

right now the wound is still fresh - hurting like hell. your head is spinning, you are trying to move on deal with other things but everytime you turn around where is your mind RIGHT BACK ON THEM. you want to stop but you have no control, it is if someone, some thing has taken over all control of the man you use to be. it is hard to imagine, difficult to fathom that she could take the bond the 2 of you had and just thrash it as if it did not matter.

you just want it to stop, to go away, to be the day before you found out.

keep posting, we know, we understand, we can truly say "i know how you are feeling"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 10:14pm

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 10:23pm

I have lost 14 lbs over the last 3 weeks. This stinks. I can't sleep and I am up at night and wander the house. My kids are home and it is really tough on my two oldest (14 & 13)...


I am goping to join a real gym so that I can hit a heavy bag.


I spent 3 hours with a lawyer today and she wants to nail the hides of Sr Mgt. My W can file a multi million Sexual Harrassment lawsuit aginst them. The things my lawyer told were staggering.


I found out a little while ago that my wife had a breakdown and is now in the hospital. She is being treated for depression and drugs.


I have got such a headache it would stop a rhino..


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 12:15am

Hi Raging.. (aka Jack... which I like better :-))


Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) my H was out of town (and still is) when I had Dday...He comes back on Saturday, and I'm not sure how I will react when I see him, but I know FOR SURE that I will not look at him the same way as pre Dday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 2:56am

Jack


I'm telling you, sit down and eat meals with your kids.

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 2:28pm

Jack

I agree with zb79. Getting some exercise and some food in you will make a difference. I lost like 20 lbs the first few weeks, and another ten since. I was only sleeping a few hours also. It was eating right, working out and an occasional mild sleeping pill that helped me get somewhat back on track.

Some folks on these boards recommended going to the doctor and getting some meds. I chose not to do this, but if you need to, don't be afraid to do it. Trust me, the doctors have heard it all before. My sister who is also going through this just came off of her meds this week. She swears by them.

I'm soo sorry this is going on. That feeling in the pit of your stomach, it is going to go away one day. The problems will last longer than that feeling, but it will go away. Soon you will have some skills in all of this and things will get better.

I'm worried that you're making big decisions while sleep deprived. Those first few weeks I had a rode a lot of bad thought trains in the middle of the night. Thought about doing some really stupid things. Take things as slow as you can.

Chin up brother. You can do this. There are still some bad days ahead. But your going to get past this.

Thomas

5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008

Status: Rebuilding




Edited 1/16/2009 2:40 pm ET by pater_familia

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.