whose betraying here?
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|Tue, 08-13-2013 - 11:19am|
My story is very long - here is the shortest version. I met DH10 years ago and married for 6. He had 2 kids, youngest was 2, so I have raised them. The first year we were dating, he "dissapeared" a couple of times, didn't hear from him all night, which I couldn't hold against him, we were not committed, but it still hurt. We moved in together and after 2 years, we could not get along and talked about breaking up, He slept with another woman and dissapeared once. After counseling and working through his problem, we were happy and eventually bought our house and got married.
Forward 7 years - to 3 months ago, I got a call from a woman at my office that said she was sleeping with my husband. She was a woman he met on Craigslist and turned out alot of what she said was lies, but alot of it was true too. Fact was, DH had been talking to her online and met her for a drink. He also admitted to texting 2 other women on from craigslist. You can imagine my rage and hurt after working through his infidelity.
I haven't left him, it's not that easy. I have raised his kids and his younges that is 12 is very close to me, I support her in every way and have considered staying for her. I did love DH, but my love is numb now after destroying my trust again. It is very difficult as we have built a life, a home and mutual friends and family that make us thrive because he had nothing when I met him. DH is drop dead gorgeous, he attracks alot of attention from women and I really do get tired of friends telling me how good looking he is and how lucky I am. DH has been extremely sorry for his actions of course and has made every effort to prove himself and make up for his mistakes. I can't help but think he said the same thing when we were dating.
2nd part to my story - after his cheating 3 months ago, I heard about my an old boyfriend from my hometown had just found out his wife was cheating on him. We dated for 2 years, he was the star athelete and good looking, dated around alot, but when we started dating, he got serious and wanted to get married and have kids. He bought me a house - I couldn't stay, I wanted a career so I left town and broke his heart. After hearing about his wife, I got up the nerve and contacted him online about 6 weeks ago. The spark was still there, I mean really there - after talking for 6 weeks and meeting at his house several times, I have strong feelings for him and he has the same. Meanwhile, DH moved out of our house for 2 weeks to give me some time to think, I was hoping I would miss DH, but I found myself wanting to see BF - to me, a bad sign or maybe my feelings are just skewed.
It is so difficult right now, I guess. DH has been in a tremendous depression of crying and anxiety that I am going to leave him. He is a mess. He swears that the last few years of growing apart and lack of affection in our marriage was why he was reaching out. He didn't realize I had the same needs not being met. Who knows, there may have been other women hes not admitting to. I told him I may consider getting an apartment for a few months to give myself some space, but he thinks once I leave, I won't be back. Meanwhile my old boyfriend has proclaimed his feelings for me and has tried to convince me that DH will never change. I have my home and lifestyle with DH who swears to make any change he has to, to keep me from leaving him.....and I have the excitement of reuniting with BF that is someone I have known for 25 years and I have turned his life around.
I can't leave my stepdaughter, I support her and I will until she is out of school, that is agreed with DH, and DH has a good income that will help. We were ahead in our finances and I'm afraid the split will wreck us both financially. I have feelings for both men and I feel very torn. I am taking a huge chance staying any longer with DH, I could be 50 years old and catch him doing this again in 8 years, or I can leave and regret losing him with someone that I am not 100% sure I am compatible with.