why do I still miss him

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2010
why do I still miss him
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:56pm
I hardly know how to explain. He took a job out of town three years ago and now he doesn't even want me to come visit him. I saw that he ordered meds (Cialis) but when he came here all I got was a held hand and a little hug. I am going to the email waiting and wanting to hear from him. I have filed for divorce but I am soooooooooo depressed and lonesome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 2:01pm

as i read your post a feeling of sadness came over me.

i was sitting here earlier imagining how freeing it would be to not have to look at him every single day. i was wondering, if we were apart would i look back and wonder could i have done more. i kept thinking about the ying and yang of it all.

the truth of the matter is i am here chained to the past our of fear - but this is about you and hopefully some things i may say may help.

imagine if he were back, imagine living with the truth, he cheated on you. imagine wondering am i safe? the thoughts of will he do it again? the mind chatter that drove you crazy, the motion pictures of them together. all of these things were weighing you down - not able to find happiness with him afraid of having to go out and start all over again.

you know while it is too soon for you to realize this, you have learned something from this ordeal. while you have been deeply hurt, you now have come face to face with YOU - a woman who is far stronger than i - a woman who realized she was worth more, and due better from one who was suppose to be her life partner. your soul told you (perhaps you could not hear) there is more, there is greater, there is true peace, there is real love, honesty does exist, men are not all the same - and you listened.

yes, he may be getting his little yellow pill to help him feel like macho macho man - but please know somewhere down the road he will look into his rear view mirror. there he will see YOU, living a new, happy, fulfilled life with the person you were meant to be with. it will be his loss.

there is a book i would like to offer up as a good read. it is called 'your best life now' by joel osteen. i have recommended it to many - in turn i have received numerous emails thanking me for the suggestion. at first many of them were skeptical as was i - thinking "this is no time for religious talk. but the book is not that kind of book. with fall setting in the time would be perfect to sit down with a warm blanket - curl up and recharge. the words are most inspiring and healing.

when these moments hit, stop those feelings of loss by calling a friend, going to a see a movie - comedy , go shopping or simply sit down and journal - get it all out.

why now - life is no dress rehearsal, you get that - you want more, you obviously know that you deserver the best life has to offer.

YOU CHOSE NOT TO SETTLE - i am in awe of you.

NOW SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 11:45am