Yup....Fell Once Again

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Yup....Fell Once Again
20
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 1:17pm

GRrrrrrrrr...

O.k.....I'm Psycho! Things are getting better with each passing day.  Finally got my heavy bag up and I have a name for it:  "The D*@#** Bag!"  Last Night was my first punching session at it, and I have decided to do this EVERY DAY!  This at least helps release some of my anger that may suddenly spark.  I even have a You Tube Song list for my bashing sessions.

Well, Last night I sent an email to the OW (a two liner) and I wish I hadn't.  It doesn't make me the better person.  I DON'T want to be like her!  I don't know what came over me....anger, sadness, etc....All I can see are those freakin' sexual pictures sent to one another via cell phone.  So, I basically said..."WOW!  Blinded By Cellulite.  Just wondering if you showed your husband the pictures you sent to MY HUSBAND?  Hope you have seeked help for your obesity since then.  Toodles."  **YIKES!**  O.k.... Now I have to stay away from the computer at home, any glass of wine while alone, etc.....

Second thinking possibly going on an anti depressant, but I don't want the effects of it either.  I know because I was on them 10 years ago for about 2 years dealing with a lot of medical trauma in my life.  I have my hands in the air right now....Don't know what to do.  Frustrated. :smileyfrustrated:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 1:27am
Nah your not phycho. You just did something out of anger which is probably something we all wish (or would have liked) to do.lol Don't sweat it .The way I see it these OW should know that there are consequences when you choose to sleep with someones elses husband. And one of those consequences could be getting a nasty e mail or two from his wife. That was a good one BTW. But from now on just do whatever it takes not to send anymore e mails to her because you would not want to be brought up on harrassment charges over this if it continues. Are you seeing a counselor?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 7:40am
Since we all appreciate your anger maybe next time you get the urge you can post here instead of contacting her. You still get to say it but don't have the regrets either. And we all get a chuckle. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 3:29pm
I Just want to say a BIG THANK YOU for your support and certainly making me smile at times! You all have given me wonderful advice and I've come to the conclusion that I'm officially not psycho. Just one pissed off, hard ass, kick ass wife! :0) I'm going to stick to coming to the boards and actually talking with my husband when I am having anxiety over the situation. He can be my pin cushion! **LOL** Believe it or not, he has been very supportive of me through this and it is clear that he is working on making things right. I have forgiven him, but I can't trust him 100%. Can a wife ever trust their husband 100% again after an affair? I'm not really sure. Some trust comes back with time, but I don't know if I will ever feel that security, and safeness again. I have to keep positive though I guess. I'm a better person than to allow the OW anymore control over me. As long as I NEVER see her, I will be o.k. And if I happen to run into her one of these days, hopefully she turns the other way. Because I would at least make her drop a doogan in her 4X Walmart panties! I'm going to continue staying away from the anti-depressants. I'm such a holistic person that my body is sensitive to advil! **LOL** I will take an anti anxiety pill now and then to calm my nerves, which works when necessary. You are 100% right that the OW doesn't give a crap about me or my marriage. It's all about getting what SHE wants, or wanted for that matter. I sent her a letter in the mail and of course she didn't even respond. I have spoken with her husband on the phone as well and he is very well aware that things will be fine as long as she stays clear of my path, and he mentioned the same about my husband. We are on the same page. I guess maybe why it's hard is because I spent every week with her golfing, dinner, etc....I still feel stupid thinking she was a friend. Lesson learned!! :0( Here's to Brighter Days Ahead Ladies!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 3:38pm
Yes! We are seeing a wonderful counselor once a week and she really is amazing helping us work things out. I am thankful my husband is really focusing on making us better, but some days it still isn't easy for whatever the reason the fat cow pops in my head. But I'm going to express my anxiety from now on. My husband wasn't home when I was having that "Psycho Meltdown." He was late coming from our friends house, so....PANIC MODE! You are 100% right! I am not going to send any more emails, text messages, etc....I don't need a harassment charge on me. Isn't it ironic though that a woman can screw around with a married man without any consequences, and we just have to bear it and the emotional roller coaster it has put us through!! And shame on us if we even contemplate revenge? Sometimes it just isn't fair! Then again...I gain satisfaction just knowing I have no intention of "hiding this secret" from anyone. No, I don't want to scream from the top of my lungs what happened, but if someone asks....that's a whole new can of worms. I give two craps about her reputation!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 3:39pm
BELIEVE ME...I WILL!!! And hey, if it gives me a chuckle out of it too, then it makes us all Better, Stronger Women Together!! Until the next time Sybil returns.....**LOL**
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 3:48pm
The punching bag is an AWESOME stress reliever! The song list I created goes along with it so well also! You are so right!!! Why should the OW get away with it? I'm not going to do anything to get me into trouble, as long as I don't see her face. Even then she is NOT worth me getting arrested over! Just want to watch her crap her pants a little. :0) One thing is for sure...I am a much stronger woman now and I would NEVER put up with this again and my husband knows it! This is his only chance to get it right! NO EXCEPTIONS! Luckily he has been trying hard and so have I! But, my heart is still broken and crying. I'm hoping someday my heart will mend and smile again. Until then, I'm glad I have women to express my feelings with who are on the same roller coaster as I am. I just wish we all weren't hurting so much. What has this world come to? Hugs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 12:30pm
I completely understand how you feel! It was hard for me to get out of bed as well. I only took a week off and was living at a best friends house for a month. I slept almost all the time, along with crying. I wish I could have taken more time off, but had to work. When I came home, I didn't even want to look at my husband or think of him touching me. My bitterness is breaking down towards my husband but NOT the OW! It's still damn hard though. But, I don't want to get sick from all this bitterness eating me away either. Kharma is a wonderful thing! You are Right!!!! Stay strong and sending positive energy your way!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 12:36pm
Thanks for excusing my psychotic moments! **LOL** Yes, I wish I didn't know the OW because it would be much easier for me to handle. Believe me, I'm not putting myself on a pedestal, but she is NOTHING to look at either and everyone else agrees full heartedly! SHe is completely opposite of myself!! She is overweight, doesn't wear any makeup, doesn't style her balding hair, and when she did go out with us, she dressed like she was a freakin solid gold dancer from the 80's! So, I know looks have nothing to do with what transpired. I'm sorry...she has gigantic boobs, so I'm just your average girl. We had only been friends for a little over a year or so. I met her through golf and we hit it off really well. GEEZ...now I know why...she was screwing around with my husband! Once again...thank you for the positive words. Sending smiles and hugs to all those who need it!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 2:06pm
Ouch. I am overweight, have balding spots on my head, and hate wearing makeup outside of work. Your killing me :-) . I always thought I was at least ok looking though. Lol. Although I will say that I don't do the solid gold dancer look and don't have the ugly inside blemish of a homewrecker. That must be what keeps her so ugly cause otherwise I am screwed to have dimilarities with her. Lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 3:49am
Looks don't often matter when it comes to sex for men. My MIL was always so funny. Her H was a serial cheater and she saw some of his conquests. Some of them were HUGE and UGLY to boot. She always said "Men are dogs, and they would scr--w a dog if their horny " LOL

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