Yup....Fell Once Again
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| Wed, 08-01-2012 - 1:17pm |
GRrrrrrrrr...
O.k.....I'm Psycho! Things are getting better with each passing day. Finally got my heavy bag up and I have a name for it: "The D*@#** Bag!" Last Night was my first punching session at it, and I have decided to do this EVERY DAY! This at least helps release some of my anger that may suddenly spark. I even have a You Tube Song list for my bashing sessions.
Well, Last night I sent an email to the OW (a two liner) and I wish I hadn't. It doesn't make me the better person. I DON'T want to be like her! I don't know what came over me....anger, sadness, etc....All I can see are those freakin' sexual pictures sent to one another via cell phone. So, I basically said..."WOW! Blinded By Cellulite. Just wondering if you showed your husband the pictures you sent to MY HUSBAND? Hope you have seeked help for your obesity since then. Toodles." **YIKES!** O.k.... Now I have to stay away from the computer at home, any glass of wine while alone, etc.....
Second thinking possibly going on an anti depressant, but I don't want the effects of it either. I know because I was on them 10 years ago for about 2 years dealing with a lot of medical trauma in my life. I have my hands in the air right now....Don't know what to do. Frustrated. 
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Yup, I always said "fat and ugly don't matter as long as the OW has nice eyes and teeth that aren't rotting " lol
You have to do the things in life that allow you to gain strength, process, mourn & heal. It sounds like you are on the right path. :0)
Time certainly is a healer, but facing certain holidays, special occasions for the 1st time is still very difficult. But I do look forward to eventually putting it behind me and creating new memories and starting fresh. I just wish my heart would smile completely again. Because this is the toughest part.
Thank you for the positive energy...Right Back At Ya!!!
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