Yup....Fell Once Again

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Yup....Fell Once Again
20
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 1:17pm

GRrrrrrrrr...

O.k.....I'm Psycho! Things are getting better with each passing day.  Finally got my heavy bag up and I have a name for it:  "The D*@#** Bag!"  Last Night was my first punching session at it, and I have decided to do this EVERY DAY!  This at least helps release some of my anger that may suddenly spark.  I even have a You Tube Song list for my bashing sessions.

Well, Last night I sent an email to the OW (a two liner) and I wish I hadn't.  It doesn't make me the better person.  I DON'T want to be like her!  I don't know what came over me....anger, sadness, etc....All I can see are those freakin' sexual pictures sent to one another via cell phone.  So, I basically said..."WOW!  Blinded By Cellulite.  Just wondering if you showed your husband the pictures you sent to MY HUSBAND?  Hope you have seeked help for your obesity since then.  Toodles."  **YIKES!**  O.k.... Now I have to stay away from the computer at home, any glass of wine while alone, etc.....

Second thinking possibly going on an anti depressant, but I don't want the effects of it either.  I know because I was on them 10 years ago for about 2 years dealing with a lot of medical trauma in my life.  I have my hands in the air right now....Don't know what to do.  Frustrated. :smileyfrustrated:

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 12:50pm
Massage is a wonderful way to de-stress yourself. One of my friends is a massage therapist and it certainly helps so much!!!!

You have to do the things in life that allow you to gain strength, process, mourn & heal. It sounds like you are on the right path. :0)

Time certainly is a healer, but facing certain holidays, special occasions for the 1st time is still very difficult. But I do look forward to eventually putting it behind me and creating new memories and starting fresh. I just wish my heart would smile completely again. Because this is the toughest part.

Thank you for the positive energy...Right Back At Ya!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 12:43pm
**LOL** Thanks for the laugh!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 1:40pm

Yup, I always said "fat and ugly don't matter as long as the OW has nice eyes and teeth that aren't rotting " lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 11:41am
Yup...that's certainly the truth!! I like nice eyes and a nice smile. :0)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 11:40am
OH GOD!!! I don't want to offend anyone here! Believe me...I could lose 10 lbs myself! I truly do believe someone becomes more attractive with their good qualities, but honestly I should have seen her "bad qualities" when all she ever did was bad mouth her best friend about how much of a H bag she was. Bad judgement on my end, because I would never respond to anything she said about her. Funny though, she talked a lot about her best friend, yet she seems to be the home wrecker and biggest whore of them all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 3:49am
Looks don't often matter when it comes to sex for men. My MIL was always so funny. Her H was a serial cheater and she saw some of his conquests. Some of them were HUGE and UGLY to boot. She always said "Men are dogs, and they would scr--w a dog if their horny " LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 2:06pm
Ouch. I am overweight, have balding spots on my head, and hate wearing makeup outside of work. Your killing me :-) . I always thought I was at least ok looking though. Lol. Although I will say that I don't do the solid gold dancer look and don't have the ugly inside blemish of a homewrecker. That must be what keeps her so ugly cause otherwise I am screwed to have dimilarities with her. Lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 12:36pm
Thanks for excusing my psychotic moments! **LOL** Yes, I wish I didn't know the OW because it would be much easier for me to handle. Believe me, I'm not putting myself on a pedestal, but she is NOTHING to look at either and everyone else agrees full heartedly! SHe is completely opposite of myself!! She is overweight, doesn't wear any makeup, doesn't style her balding hair, and when she did go out with us, she dressed like she was a freakin solid gold dancer from the 80's! So, I know looks have nothing to do with what transpired. I'm sorry...she has gigantic boobs, so I'm just your average girl. We had only been friends for a little over a year or so. I met her through golf and we hit it off really well. GEEZ...now I know why...she was screwing around with my husband! Once again...thank you for the positive words. Sending smiles and hugs to all those who need it!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 12:30pm
I completely understand how you feel! It was hard for me to get out of bed as well. I only took a week off and was living at a best friends house for a month. I slept almost all the time, along with crying. I wish I could have taken more time off, but had to work. When I came home, I didn't even want to look at my husband or think of him touching me. My bitterness is breaking down towards my husband but NOT the OW! It's still damn hard though. But, I don't want to get sick from all this bitterness eating me away either. Kharma is a wonderful thing! You are Right!!!! Stay strong and sending positive energy your way!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2012
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 3:48pm
The punching bag is an AWESOME stress reliever! The song list I created goes along with it so well also! You are so right!!! Why should the OW get away with it? I'm not going to do anything to get me into trouble, as long as I don't see her face. Even then she is NOT worth me getting arrested over! Just want to watch her crap her pants a little. :0) One thing is for sure...I am a much stronger woman now and I would NEVER put up with this again and my husband knows it! This is his only chance to get it right! NO EXCEPTIONS! Luckily he has been trying hard and so have I! But, my heart is still broken and crying. I'm hoping someday my heart will mend and smile again. Until then, I'm glad I have women to express my feelings with who are on the same roller coaster as I am. I just wish we all weren't hurting so much. What has this world come to? Hugs!

Pages