17 Again / Meds
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|Fri, 05-01-2009 - 11:15am|
DW and I had an intense conversation on our way into work yesterday. I could not make any sense of her logic over some of our current issues. On one hand she said I was being charitable, and on the other, punitive. Ok, fair enough. She is right on both counts. But then it turned and as she got out of the car she said, "We just don't want the same things."
That just devastated me. My work yesterday was a disaster. I forgot my cell and couldn't reach her so I went to the Sprint website and sent her a text. While I was there I found myself going through the phone logs again. I got frustrated with myself and I called off at noon. I went home and got busy. I did all the dishes, laundry, shopping, kids spelling. Everything I could think of so that when she got home we could do something together and not feel guilty or distracted. When I picked her up at the bus she said that she was car sick from the bus and the train. She began to cry, she said I have a confession. My heart just sank. Is this going to be the other foot falling?
She said, "I haven't taken my anti-D meds for four days." "I couldn't get a refill sorted out until today." I just melted. We picked up the prescription and she popped a half pill. She said that her classmates at the hospital kept saying that she was off the past few days. Today she could not stop crying during class. I took her home and put her to bed. I tried putting a wet cloth on her forhead, she didn't like that. I tried rubbing her back. Nope wrong guess. I left her alone but she called for me.
I got into bed with all my cloths on and faced her--we just talked. She said that we DO want the same things, we just don't know how to get there together yet, but we will. That she wants the seven of us to always be a family. As I looked into her green eyes, It occurred to me that this isn't the 18 year old girl I married 20 years ago, but she is still so beautiful to me.
After we talked a while She began to feel better. The kids could see Mom wasn't doing well and were going to bed on there own. I asked if she wanted to rent a movie or go to starbucks and get that carmel apple thing she likes. She asked me to find a funny movie. I could not find one so I showed her the list. She saw that "17 Again" show and it started in half an hour. We ran out the door and got there just in time.
The premiss of the movie is about a 20 year marriage falling apart. The man has a second chance and is transformed into a 17 year old and ends up in school with his own kids. He helps his kids solve some of their problems and sees his family in a new light. Yeah, it was corny, but It was really close to home. It was cute, and light had some really funny moments.
Just what the doctor ordered.
DW and I sat in the van after and she looked at me and told me what she thought of me when we first met. And that after all this, she still feels much the same way. She reminded me that though we are both going to fail from time-to-time in how we treat each other, that we are going to work this out. She chooses us. Not her high school boyfriend, not some other man. But me. She's not looking around ever again. Were doing this.
I still struggle getting that man out of my head. But not like it was. Its' getting easier and easier.
thanks for letting me vent.
5 kids ages 15-9, D Day: August 5, 2008
Status: Sorting Things Out.
Edited 5/1/2009 12:31 pm ET by pater_familia