Am I Reaching Indifference Toward H?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Am I Reaching Indifference Toward H?
9
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 1:54am

I’m going through another layer of struggle and could use your input.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 12:03pm

I read your post yesterday JD, but didn't want to reply until I had thought about it, plus I wanted to ask my H what he thought about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2009
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 2:46pm

I'm pretty new at this -- I just found out about my husband's affair on the 1st of this month -- but all I can say is that if I feel the way you say you are feeling now nearly 2 years from now then I will definitely not be married to my husband anymore.


Not all things that have been broken can be fixed -- even if we desperately want them to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 8:59pm

To give you a bit of a reality check, I will give you my experience. You know that DH had an EA. A year after NC, during which DH didn't have ANY contact that he didn't tell me about, OW went to his office to fish, to see if she could use him again he told me immediately. I was so dissatisfied with how he handled it, i was told him I was ready to leave him. He had an ipiphany and realized he was still putting her first. A couple of months later I was still "obsessing" about it, so we saw an MC. She put him straight on a couple of things and we have been good since. That was a two years ago. If he had done what your H had done, I would be leaving him.

BTW, DH just came in and I gave him the scenario. His reaction was that your H is not over her. He went into this long cognitive psychologist explanation about how woman and men think, but the upshot was that your H was not over the OW. I am sorry, but he isn't. Whether he will be by the time you are over him is the real issue hear.

It takes a strong woman based in reality that ends an R when it is over. My hope for you is that you will have the wisdom to know when it is over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 12-31-2009 - 11:05pm

JD, I can't tell you what you're feeling, but I can tell you that I saw the indifference coming a long time in advance and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it. Hard to explain it, but before I actually woke up indifferent I'd known that it was coming for probably a couple of months. It was partly just a feeling over and over that "it just isn't worth feeling this way."

Whatever happens be strong and protect yourself. You'll end up exactly where you belong.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 1:00pm

I am also sorry to have to say this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2009
Sat, 01-02-2010 - 12:11am

Hey JD,


I read your post, and had to think about it a bit, before responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 11:38pm

Thanks for responding, everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 11:16am

I am SO glad you posted JD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Sat, 01-16-2010 - 2:55am

Thanks so much, Living!