Anyone reconciled after divorce??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Anyone reconciled after divorce??
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 8:58pm

If so how did it go, was it the same as before, different, better worse???

Geez can you guess what X asked me last weekend! I know we wont ever have what we once did, because that was ruined.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 10:05pm

Doubles I just read your update post above and was so happy that you had reached a good place for yourself.

I was somewhat puzzled that you were inquiring about reconciling.

Sweetie he gave you no warning or explaination just put his stuff in a box and left you and your babies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 11:15pm
I have to say that while WS was gone, he didn't support us at all. He did go out and 'chip' in 1/2 and 1/2 and get a new flat screen tv w/ her, left her our computer, and some furniture that he had, and some other stuff, but I did let him back, we did reconcile - and we're working on it. I'd say date him 1st, for a good long time and keep living on your own. Let him pay for the dates, and if he doesn't impress you big time, forget it. Don't tell the kids you're dating dad, and if he does impress you, let him impress you for a good long time before you decide to R. And make him go for MC before you decide as well. He's got to prove himself big time now. If you love him and if he really jumps through hoops, MAYBE you should / could give him a second chance, but not if it's just him wanting to be taken care of!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 11:25pm

Fivediamond wife,

you are absolutely correct. I wont let him just move back in. He would have to prove himself, and he would have to go for councelling and even MC.

I would even be his friend with great caution and from a great distance. My guard is up, A year ago I would have swept this all under the carpet and said "ok come home, and lets forget everything" but not now, I've come too far.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 12:51am

I remember all you went through too, and I have to agree with 5 diamond on this one.

I do have a friend that reconciled after her H left her

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 8:49am
I think he's looking for a place to land and after he gets on his feet will be back to his old tricks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 9:23am

After a long conversation with him last night there is NO WAY I can take him back. He told me that buttercup ended it because of "his habits" and his lack of respect for her daughter. NO suprise there, I asked about gambling and he said yes, he stops by the casino every now and then, (BS more like several times a week). What was the nail in his coffin after prufously apoligizing was he said "I can't promise you this wont happen again, that there wouldn't be someone else again" I was like DUDE seriously? that right there told me all.

He said that his parents asked if I could leave the kids with a sitter for the weekend and go over there to the island to talk, I told him no, he wanted to talk he has to come back to the mainland, but understand there are NO promises about anything.

He told me he was not happy with his life period right now, so I asked him how coming back to me would make him happy and change the issues he refuses to work on, his answer "I dont know"

I just threw my question out there to see how many people had actually done it and if there was success.

I'm not stupid, I know exactly what he is looking for, he asked if he could crash here on the couch until he found a place to live and I said NO!