I am in very bad shape today, I can't stop crying.
I have some advice for you. I know you mentioned that you can write. There is a site called www.ifreelance.com that matches up people who need freelance work in writing.Hope this helps.
i don't know when your dday was but IMHO, don't ever feel afraid to wake H up or tell him why your are upset.
I completely agree with the posters above.
I am going thru some of the same feelings.