The big reunion is almost here...
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|Mon, 09-07-2009 - 1:44am|
I posted about this a while back, so some of you have read part of this, but I wanted to give you an update and ask for some help.
Next weekend my H and I will be attending a reunion (not school, but a group we were both in). At this reunion we will see two OW who my H "made out" with (oral sex, etc., but didn't "go all the way"). That happened between 15 and 20 years ago. They were both "friends" of ours, and, yes, we were married back then.
I have emailed both of these women to inform them that I know what happened and to explain that even though it was many years ago to them, I found out only "recently" (almost 2 years ago now). They both wrote back with profuse apologies and much regret. They also agreed to follow my lead as far as what kind of contact we have during the weekend.
I am glad I contacted them ahead of time; I feel much better about the whole situation. What I'm trying to figure out now is a mindset to get into for this.
Friday night is a cocktail party. They will both be there, but my H can't make it so I'm going with other friends. I'm hoping that will help - seeing them first without my H there. My biggest fear in all this is that having them in the same room with him will suddenly make this all very real to me (there were many other women besides these two, so there's a lot of "real" to deal with) and I'll just totally lose it. Saturday and Sunday are both events that we'll all be at.
Ideally I'd like to treat it all as water under the bridge and just enjoy my time with others at the party while being civil to them. I don't think I can completely ignore them, and I don't think I can stand around and chat with them.
So, any ideas for a mindset? Psyche myself out that I've moved on (even though I'm pretty sure that I won't feel that emotionally)? Pretend that they don't exist? (Denial can be a good tool at times.) Picture myself wringing their necks? (JK)
Seriously, I know I need to have a plan for how to think about this all and how to deal with the emotions which I know are going to come up, but my mind is all over the place with this right now. Any thoughts or experiences you might share will be greatly appreciated.
(PS I've been going to the gym 3x a week, I'm dying my hair tomorrow, and I bought a new outfit today, so at least I'll show up looking good and feeling good about it!)