Big Trigger - Hitting the one year mark
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|Wed, 05-13-2009 - 5:05pm|
I am having the biggest trigger ever because the end of June will be one year since finding out about my DH affair. I have been experiencing some of the panic feelings I had after D-Day; and yes, Sybil returned. Last weekend and I laid my DH out for the A. I felt so bad afterwards but I am having a really hard time. I was doing so well for months and now all of a sudden it's like I have spiraled out of control - again. In the 15.5 years I have been M to my DH, I had never been a raving lunatic, but since this episode my emotions are going wild.
I am hurt all over again. This morning I was actually crying so hard that I had to leave work. My DH isn't handling my outbursts well at all this time. Lately he has been withdrawing which is fine with me because sometimes I look at him and want to push him out of a moving car (just kidding). I am so disappointed because we were doing so well.
Last week we had several days of passion and I immediately thought that he did this with someone else just last year. I try to stop my brain from thinking about the A, but I can't stop the thoughts no matter how I try.
Have any of you experienced a major setback/trigger? How did you get past it? Is there a pill I can't take to get rid of this turmoil I am feeling :)