Big Trigger - Hitting the one year mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2008
Big Trigger - Hitting the one year mark
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 5:05pm

I am having the biggest trigger ever because the end of June will be one year since finding out about my DH affair. I have been experiencing some of the panic feelings I had after D-Day; and yes, Sybil returned. Last weekend and I laid my DH out for the A. I felt so bad afterwards but I am having a really hard time. I was doing so well for months and now all of a sudden it's like I have spiraled out of control - again. In the 15.5 years I have been M to my DH, I had never been a raving lunatic, but since this episode my emotions are going wild.

I am hurt all over again. This morning I was actually crying so hard that I had to leave work. My DH isn't handling my outbursts well at all this time. Lately he has been withdrawing which is fine with me because sometimes I look at him and want to push him out of a moving car (just kidding). I am so disappointed because we were doing so well.

Last week we had several days of passion and I immediately thought that he did this with someone else just last year. I try to stop my brain from thinking about the A, but I can't stop the thoughts no matter how I try.

Have any of you experienced a major setback/trigger? How did you get past it? Is there a pill I can't take to get rid of this turmoil I am feeling :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 7:02pm

HI I am going through the same thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2008
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 1:42pm
I am approaching the One Year mark, and I am dreading it. My husband became involved emotionally with a woman that he works with. Thanks to this lousy economy, he still works with her. He's sent out resumes but he hasn't found a comparable job to move too. I saw this woman in the parking lot just yesterday when I went to visit my husband at work. There are non stop reminders.

Edited 5/14/2009 1:51 pm ET by foursythia
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 7:39pm

I, too, am going through the same thing!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 11:37pm

Yeah, that one year mark is hard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Sat, 05-16-2009 - 7:35am

We decided to go away for the one year