can this really work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
can this really work?
4
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 6:55am

I was just wanting to get some thoughts and ideas from everyone about my current situation.

My husband and I were in the process of getting a separation and then getting a divorce. During that process I took a pregnancy test and now we have a second child on the way. Now my husband is rethinking the divorce. I am not sure whether this will work or not. Before the pregnancy he said he wasn't going to change, but now he wants to change and says he wants us to try and work things out.

I know that I should give him a chance to try and prove to me that he is serious. But I know that I am not strong enough right now to handle more pain. From past experiences he has always let me down. I don't think I can take another let down especially when I am an emotional roller coaster right now.

I just want to know that can a new child open his eyes and make him want to change? He was so excited when I told him, which was a surprise to me, but can another child make him become the family man I want him to become? Can this situation really make him grow up and start thinking of others?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 7:30am
If your first child didn't "open his eyes" then I wouldn't hold out much hope for a magic "cure" with the second.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 8:42am
I don't know.
.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 9:27am

If you think you want to give him another chance, make a list of things you need to see from him in the long term in order for you to even consider it. If you see those changes, tell him maybe then you will open yourself up to being M to him again. This way, you are protecting yourself and your children from more upheaval.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 4:51pm
If he's saying he wants to give it another try only because a baby is on the way, I don't think that's likely to work, you already have one child and that didn't make him behave the way he should.