Cant get thoughts out of head? Read this

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Cant get thoughts out of head? Read this
13
Sun, 03-14-2010 - 11:08am
To anyone who has been through a situation where the thoughts will not leave your mind and you feel like you are about to go crazy! How do you stop thinking about your H and the OW or the details of it all? Not only this situation, but if you k ow anyone who is trying to rebuild their life after traumatic event please read this book. "Freedom to Forget". It is amazing and really puts things in perspective. I read it from time to time just to remind myself and keep my spirits up. I just wanted to share this because it really helped me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Sun, 04-04-2010 - 2:37pm

Sorry to not be in touch for so long but I have been away to my mother.

sad09
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2010
Sat, 04-03-2010 - 12:33am

When I found a text on my H cell , testing his co worker. That broke me down. Compiled with the other emotionally cheating he has done, I just about had it. I couldn't sleep and every waking moment the million thoughts came. Many questions that my H refused to answer. What was the rest of the text messages about ( I found 9 others). Do you want her? Why do you feel the need to allow Ow in our relationship? He will never tell.


Then one day it happened. I prayed and asked the Lord to take all that cramp away ......He did. I are free because of Jesus


P>S> I pray for my H on a daily basis. Lord I bind all emotionally tides. I pray that when he turns on his charms, He would be convicted. Etc etc. So bottom line I pray more and worry less.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:28pm
I don't think you can 'just stop talking about it' If I am suffering, I need to tell him why, if there is a horrible trigger that I can't handle myself, I need to tell him why. Yes I go to him and he puts his arms around me - and I do feel better, but I can't just ignore it all, just the ones I can handle myself. But I won't be able to just make believe it didn't happen and never mention it, It will take time to heal - I was (as we all are) devastated. I can't do it alone. We go to MC once a week for an hour - hardly enough but I can't ignore it when I feel like I'm falling to pieces, if I had to do it alone, then why am I still M to H?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 5:17pm
O and just so u know I changed my profile name from verysadmommy to tkea1360. Didn't want u to get confused with my reply having different name on it. It's still me!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 4:07pm
O it sounds very familiar. Trust me I was there! Yes it is VERY hard to keep those comments to yourself and I still slip, but mine is because I am recently going through all of the stuff since we just found out the she had
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Fri, 03-19-2010 - 3:00pm

Thank you for replying so quickly.

sad09
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 5:01pm
For me it was exactly that! Unfortunately, I realize that had the A not happened we probably would be divorced. Right now or in a really bad marriage. It made both of us realize th mistakes we were making to get to that point. I will never say it is easy. Heck I moved 3 hrs away just to get away from the OW because we knew it was the only way we could rebuild our marriage. Now we have been informed that my H fathered a C with OW and she is suing us for child support. Even so i am doing ok. Of course I had to get here. And just so you know staying does nit make u weak it makes u strong!!! I am a stronger person now than I ever thought possible! Anyone can give up and walk away, but a strong woman fights for what is hers and tries to make it work!! The thoughts pop up here and there for me, but one thing that I have found that was so hard to do was....when I get those thoughts that hurt, make me mad, and make me not even want to touch my husband.... That is when I go to him instead of leaving the room. So instead of continuing those thought that ate doing me no good, he wraps me up in his arms and tells me he loves me and it reminds me why I here and how he has changed and gets the thoughts out of my head by converting them to positive thoughts.
I has to face it that I would never know all the details and probably don't want to. I agreed to stay, therefore it is not fair for me to continue to punish him. We have been through all there is and I know he deeply regrets it and is sorry. Do I slip a few comments in here an there? Yes. And he usually just let's it go and gives me those little punches here and there knowing he deserves it. I think the way your spouse handles the situation makes all te difference in how you handle it. Trust me I was as low as I could get 3 years ago and now I can't believe where I am. It takes a lot to get through it but if you BOTH are determined to work together it is possible. My marriage is better now than it ever was before. I hate admitting that but it is true!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2010
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 1:10pm
Hello.
sad09
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 6:14pm
Sorry - got it. So sorry you're going through this. Bad enough to be going through any of it, but to have an OC to deal with as well is just beyond my realm of thinking right now. OW in my case wished she could have had on with FWH, but in fact he can no longer father a child. Thank goodness for that. I think that would have sent me over the edge..... Good luck in court!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 5:42am
My husband fathered a child with OW. OC- other child. She is taking us to court for child support. I have a lovely post about it. Since we are debating on custody issues. I won't even get into that, but needless to say after 3 years I though we were doing great until this B**ch decides to spring this on us just to once again attempt to tear us apart. She has another thing coming and is the one who better be prepared for what we are about to fire back at her.

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