Cheated, left, now what?
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|Tue, 05-04-2010 - 10:23am|
I don't see anyone posting here with the same situation I am in. My husband began an affair several months ago. I only found out about 3 weeks ago. When I confronted him, he moved out. I have begged him to work things out between us. So far, nothing. He comes to see the kids, do things around the house for me, pay a few bills, but he goes home to the married couple's house he is staying at. He came to the house the other day and said he decided he wanted a divorce. I asked him how he could decide that when he had told me the week before that he didn't know what he wanted but he would always love me. He claims he has been depressed, and he felt unwanted and unappreciated by me. I told him I felt the same things from him. He tends to shut down when he is upset, I mostly explode. Lately, I have felt that he was extremely irritable, or easily angered. He quit showing me any affection, and any advances I made toward him were rebuffed. He never reciprocated for birthdays, Mother's Day, etc. He has promised his parents and me that he will go to counseling (I already have started going), but he continues this relationship with the OW. He misses being there to tuck the kids in, acts like he cares about me when he is around, I am so confused.
I love him, and have for our 18 yrs of marriage. He said he loves me too and always will, but has been unhappy for 2-3 years. He never told me this. He has yet to start counseling. My counselor told me to put his feet to the fire, but I am afraid if I do that he will leave and never come back. I told him that I can forgive him for that affair because I know that my actions and behaviors towards him influenced his feelings. I know it was his choice to make. I guess I am really just venting here. I have prayed A LOT, my family and friends are praying for me too. I just don't know how much longer I can go on not knowing what he is going to do.
I know if he does want a divorce, I will be devastated. I don't see how he could throw away a life of love, children, and devotion for a woman with a history of breaking up marriages.
Sorry to ramble, just want a shoulder to lean on.